True Blood Recap: Episode 4.5 – ‘Me and the Devil’
by Britt Hayes
Editor’s note: This article, as well as all recap articles for True Blood, contains spoilers. If you have not watched this weeks episode we strongly encourage you NOT to read this article until you have done so. Thank you – The Management.
True Blood is doing me proud this season. There were things to like in season three, but the extremely convoluted end to the season with everything feeling like a sub-plot and giving us no ultimate ending or honest resolution sort of dwarfed any enjoyment I had that season and now I feel like I can only remember Russell Edgington and his urn of Talbot goo.
Season four is turning things around. The plot feels tighter and even the sub-plots are being treated like actual sub-plots. It doesn’t feel like all of the stories within the season are competing with each other, which is refreshing.
Eric has a nightmare that involves Godric forcing him to feed on poor, sleeping Sookie. He wakes her up and they share a sweet moment with a childlike Eric crying his bloody vampire tears and Sookie stroking his hair, assuring him that she believes that he’s inherently good, regardless of the evil he’s done. Even though I was apprehensive about this relationship, I’ve grown to love it and there’s some gosh darn nuance going on. I know, in TRUE BLOOD?! Impossible! But it’s there in the way Sookie won’t come out and tell him all the evil things he’s done either due to fear it might jostle his memory or that it might actually upset him. It’s sweet.
Later in the episode Tara shows up to Debbie Downer everyone and eat all of Sookie’s ice cream (and of course Sookie has vanilla ice cream – boooooring). She and Sookie have a conversation about Tara coming clean to her girlfriend (whose name I’ve already forgotten because she’s been such a non-character) about her true identity and her past, all while Sookie is distracted by the sun going down because she doesn’t need Tara knowing that she’s hiding Eric, Norse God of Sex in her basement. Of course Eric emerges and Tara sort of irrationally loses her shit and storms out. Look, I won’t begrudge Tara the fact that Eric locked her cousin in a torture basement and has pretty much been a douche bag to Sookie & Co., but I mean, it was just her cousin. And like she’d care that much if it were her own mother he tortured. So she leaves! Hooray!
But the damage is done and Eric has now been made fully aware of his menacing past. Feeling unwelcome, Eric rushes to leave but Sookie stops him and they finally make out, complete with overly indulgent orchestra music, which made the whole thing feel like some ridiculous, masturbatory fan fiction realized.
Sookie uses her almost forgotten mind-reading powers (and kudos to Ball for putting that power on the back-burner for so long that I vocally rejoiced upon its return) on Holly to figure out where she can find this Marnie character. Moon Goddess Emporium, of course! So Sookie does her little Clueless routine and gets Marnie to give her a psychic reading, which actually works when Gran’s voice speaks to Sookie and tells her: A. Don’t give your flower to Eric, cause this situation is temporary – by the way, how amazing would it be if she had sex with him and that’s what turned him back into an asshole? Sort of like Angel, but with hotter, less mopey dudes. B. Run the fuck away from this Marnie broad because she’s a dangerous loonypath.
Jason’s plot continues to pleasantly surprise me. This week we’re thankfully Crystal-free (my my, we turned on her pretty quick) and Jason is being tucked into bed by Jessica. There’s still some drama hanging between her and Hoyt as she seems emotionally distant and Hoyt is just being a vague jerk and not, you know, communicating his feelings. I guess that’s the one thing his mama never taught him how to do; she must have been buying Marie Osmond’s special edition Easter doll that day (hey, it came with hand-painted eggs made of PORCELAIN and glazed with the tears of 1,000 Cuban children).
Jason has a sexy dream about Jessica, which turns not so sexy when she keeps calling him Hoyt, and then Hoyt shows up to heckle Jason during sex. But big ups to Jason for continuing to have sex with Jess even with Hoyt lurking in the boudoir. Then things get super weird when Jess turns into Hoyt mid-grind. And by weird I mean hilarious.
Portia decides to take the lawyerly approach with Bill, presenting him with her findings on the facts about incest, that she probably got by visiting INCESTFACTS.ORG. Side note: we probably shouldn’t ever introduce the people of Hotshot to the internet. IT’S FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. Bill is too preoccupied with legit problems like necromancers and whether or not those new window treatments match his rad bondage chairs, but he’s also mostly icked out by incest (at least someone in this town is, good grief), so he glamours Portia into being terrified of him. It’s super funny, but I’m going to miss Courtney Ford because she’s just so damn impossibly beautiful. Can she replace Tara? Please?
Pam begs and pleads with Bill for the right to kill Marnie, but his hands are tied by Nan Flanagan and vamps just can’t be killing humans all willy nilly like right now. But he does the next best thing: he has Marnie arrested by VAMPIRE COPS! Also, that would make an awesome reality show. You’re welcome, universe. Marnie gets locked up in vampire jail, and it makes me wonder how that works. Their legal system is obviously separate from our human one. Can we arrest vampires? Is the rule that we can always enforce our laws on them but they can’t enforce them on us? Someone clear this up for me because it seems to be a little murky on the show, though I’m pretty sure it’s been brought up previously.
Bill waltzes down to Marnie’s cell to glamour her into telling him the truth about her powers and giving up the spell that will fix our lovely Pam’s face. But Marnie is an honest lady, and Bill doesn’t learn anything new. I did, however, learn that the waiting room in Bill’s jail is nicer than my apartment. Fiona Shaw is still killing it every week on this show, even though her part has been a little smaller than I’d hoped thanks to True Blood’s parade of sub-plots, and yes, I know I said the sub-plots weren’t such an annoyance this season – and they aren’t, really – but that doesn’t mean we all couldn’t use a little more Marnie. Her character is absolutely terrifying because of how quirky and harmless she appears. She isn’t in control of this power and doesn’t even really know what it is, which makes her the perfect vessel for such incredible evil.
You expect this woman to sell you herbs that smell like cat piss to ease your menstrual cramps, not make your face rot off.
Arlene and Terry are still dealing with demon baby, and Terry’s called in Reverend Daniels and Lettie Mae to exorcise the evil in their house. Terry says it’s because their church is more lively, you know, because they sing. I enjoyed the little crossover between characters who we wouldn’t normally see interact with one another.
Tommy kills Joe Lee on purpose and his mama on accident, but at least they’re gone and they’re never coming back, unless that swamp is like a pet cemetery. I wouldn’t be surprised. Sam helps Tommy dispose of the bodies in aforementioned pet cemetery swamp, but on the way Andy pulls Sam over for speeding (and by speeding I mean out of spite) and nearly discovers the bodies in his van. Tommy does something clever for once and turns into a gator to scare Andy away, and Andy proves he’s a moron because I mean, how would Sam even get a gator into his van?
Alcide gets a visit from some gnarly biker jerk who demands he and Debbie join his biker/wolf gang, but Alcide’s comfortable with his quiet new life with the Bible-thumping Debbie. I also noted that Alcide looks like a Brawny man version of Ken doll.
Bill convenes his sheriffs and we’re finally given the story of Marnie’s spirit friend. Her name is Antonia and she was a very powerful necromancer in the early 17th century. Vampires used to be priests and nuns because vampires often position themselves in places of great authority, which not only allows them to hide in plain sight, but keeps them involved in important human matters. Antonia was burned at the stake, which we already knew, but we also get a chilling piece of info: as she burned she summoned all vampires to wake from their day sleep and walk into the sun, so they could burn with her. Spooky business.
In a moment of frustration Pam accidentally spills the beans on Eric’s amnesia and tells Bill that he’s been having a slumber party with Sookie, which naturally sends Bill running out the door. I know Bill is still in love with Sookie, obviously, but you can’t go around pounding the panties of every slag in Bon Temps and then cry because your ex-girlfriend is probably boning your sworn enemy.
Next week: Bill and Eric will most likely fight and will hopefully do so without shirts!
Bonus points this week:
Pam! “Convene your sheriffs so we can kill this uppity Wiccan cunt… Your majesty.”
Gators love marshmallows, which I think automatically makes them sort of cute. Who knew?
Vampires work at Fox News and Google, the most powerful places in America.
Tara is still alive. Go back home to N’awlins, you old whiny shrew.