True Blood Recap: 4.4 ‘I’m Alive and On Fire’
by Britt Hayes
Editor’s note: This article, as well as all recap articles for True Blood, contains spoilers. If you have not watched this weeks episode we strongly encourage you NOT to read this article until you have done so. Thank you – The Management.
This week’s episode gave us a lot of information and plenty of laughs, and thankfully Sookie managed to abstain from sex for one day. Eric is drunk off Claudine’s fairy blood and takes to pinching Sookie’s ass and playing hide and seek. When he takes off and Sookie can’t find him, she calls in a favor from Alcide, who I swear looks more and more like the Brawny man each week. Also making a guest appearance this week: pubic regions!
Nan Flanagan returns to check on Bill, who assures her that his most recent execution went well and was “completely justified.” King Bill is kind of a jerk ruler, but I love Nan’s line this week: “How many retired kings do you know?” Nan preaches the truth so much I’m starting to suspect she’s vampire Oprah. Kings don’t retire, though, and Bill needs to watch his ass. They are either overthrown and killed or they die from syphilis. Nan also drops a little info about witches and necromancers, and reminds Bill (while informing the audience) that they haven’t been powerful enough to be a problem since the Spanish massacre 400 years ago. Foreshadowing!
Which brings us to our next topic: incest! Bill pays a visit to Portia’s grandmother with special guest Sheriff Andy, and they discuss the Bellefleur family tree in the parlor (side note: I miss parlors, let’s bring those back). As they trace back the lineage, Bill and Granny Bellefleur discover that somewhere along the line, Bill’s daughter hooked up with the Bellefleur clan and Portia is his great great great great granddaughter. So Bill fucked his great great etc. granddaughter. The looks on the faces of Bill and Mrs. Bellefleur as they both realize and agree quietly that he should go were kind of epic, and I love how they politely depart. Portia demands to know why Bill can’t plow her anymore because she’s a “terrier lawyer” and she won’t give up until he tells her. Poor choice of words in a town full of shifties, lady. So Bill tells her and the look on her face reads more like disappointment that Bill can’t fuck her anymore than feeling genuinely disturbed that she already fucked her great great etc. grandpa, which tells me Portia is a dirty lady and not one Bill would take home to his mother, if he had a mother. Aww, you guys, vampires don’t have mommies. I’m kind of sad for them now.
Eric and Sookie spend a little quality time together and almost kiss (!!!) until grumpy old Bill shows up and wants to poke around the house to look for the missing Eric and presumably kill him, since that’s the only way King Bill knows how to handle problems. Sookie deflects him by reminding him that she’s never lied to him – until now, of course – and Bill relents for the time being. I don’t even mind this whole amnesia Eric story because they’ve done a great job of finding the humor in it and Alexander Skarsgard is genuinely a solid actor.
And even more incest this episode as we check in on Jason, who’s been gang-raped by the were-panther ladies of Hotshot (calendar idea!). He has a sweet moment with the youngest where he explains to her that her first time should be special, with a boy she really likes who brings her presents and candy. Look, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but I really don’t think that little girl (or anyone in Hotshot for that matter) needs candy until she gets some decent dental coverage. If anything, Jason needs to usurp the power in that little trash town and provide for those poor, misguided women. Teach them about proper courting rituals, get them on an insurance plan and show them how things work in an Obama America, amiright?! But Jason makes an escape and kills Crystal’s brother-husband before telling Crystal it’s OVER FOREVER. Crystal isn’t buying all this big man break-up talk, and I suspect she’s right. I predict Jason will turn into a were-panther and return to Hotshot feeling like an outcast. Hopefully when he returns he’ll bring some insurance packets and toothbrushes.
Sam surprises his horsey friend Luna at home, where he’s treated to his own surprise: Luna has a daughter and she’s totally adorable like that little girl from Jersey Girl – all confidence and Barbies and resistance to pajamas. Luna explains that her ex is a werewolf, which makes her daughter a… shifter-wolf? I don’t even know how those dominant genes work, but maybe someone who’s familiar with the books can explain some missing folklore in the comments? The werewolf ex supposedly keeps an eye on Luna and her daughter, and I predict some shifter on werewolf battling later this season as Sam grows to love Luna and her daughter. I hope this makes Sam a better person, legitimately. I grow tired of grouchy asshole Sam and his grouchy asshole family problems.
And that brings us to Tommy. Unable to get Sam on board with his get rich quick scheme, Tommy takes a trip to visit his momma, living life like a cautionary tale/old SNL sketch, in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER. Seems his mom has left Joe Lee, but not really since she gets all shift eyed and won’t talk about it. Joe Lee is making her shift into a dog and get in illegal dog fights and it’s quite literally killing her. That’s when Joe Lee sneaks up on Tommy and wrangles him with a chain, which makes me think that the key to hurting any supernatural being is a good chain around the neck. The reappearance of Joe Lee was obvious from the moment Tommy stepped foot on that campground (trailer park? Field of dreams?), and I sort of hate this plotline. I wasn’t looking forward to Sam and Tommy’s family returning because we have enough white trash on this show (sorry, Arlene – you’re fabulous girl, but you’re like dumpster gold) and I feel like there’s only so much plot you can wring from this shallow well. As silly as Tommy’s story with Mrs. Fortenberry was, it was far more enjoyable than illegal dog-fighting (and it has Marie Osmond dolls!)
Jessica and Hoyt appear briefly as they find Jason passed out on the side of the road all bloody and weak. Jessica feeds Jason some of her blood and from the looks of it, Jason is smitten. Given the power of vampire blood over the humans they feed, I get the feeling Jason’s going to be getting over this Crystal gang-rape nonsense real quick, at least until Crystal comes knocking asking for child support, in which case Jason should look into shifter people paternity tests. Also, not that excited about Jessica and Jason, though it might be a smidgen more interesting than the little rut Jess and Hoyt have dug for themselves as of late.
Back at home, Alcide tells Debbie that he was out helping Sookie after she smells something weird on him. No worries, Deb, it’s just Sookie’s breakfast cereal fairy smell. You get used to it. Debbie, interrupted while reading her Bible (Sookie has Charlaine Harris novels, Debbie has the Bible – what does it mean?!), assures Alcide she’s not worried about his special pubic–baring time spent with Sookie because she gets to have sex with him. Debbie, I hate to tell you this, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m pretty sure Alcide will be humping Sookie’s leg soon enough.
Tara was in this episode but I feel like she did what she’s really good at for once: nothing.
Jesus and Lafayette (we’ll just pretend Tara wasn’t tagging along) go to Marnie and ask her to reverse the spell she cast on Eric. It seems that the powerful spirit Marnie has tapped into is a witch burned at the stake in Spain some hundreds of years ago (you know, the witches Nan referred to from the “massacre”). We get some clunky exposition as Marnie dreams about her, but True Blood has never been really good at information delivery. Marnie gets some great moments this week, giving Fiona Shaw a chance to once again show some fantastic range, going from the bookish Marnie to the powerful Spanish witch spirit. Marnie sort of reminds me of those girls I knew in junior high, obsessed with The Craft and rattling off spells trying to invoke crazy spirits, if their shit actually worked.
Marnie casts a circle with Lafayette and Jesus’ help, but it’s not appearing to actually work. Pam gets mouthy so Marnie casts a spell that makes Pam’s skin turn all gross and rotty, and for this I hate Marnie because Pam is so damn fabulous and I don’t think those Japanese scientists have synthesized a powerful vampire Proactiv treatment yet.
Finally, we drop in on Arlene and Terry. Terry is taking care of the baby while Arlene and the other kids are sleeping, when he puts him down for a minute to check on the laundry. Unfortunately, he drops him right next to Jessica’s creepy demon doll and a moment later the baby is scrawling “NOT YOUR BABY” on the wall. Arlene wakes up and freaks out, and for once I’m on her side. Adoption is still an option, girl. No shame in admitting you have a demon baby on your hands who will probably wind up being the next Voldemort (Harry Potter reference for all of you just as sad about the films ending as I am!)
Next week it looks like Eric will eat Sookie and we’ll see more Alcide.
Bonus points this week:
- Jason’s explanation that boys bring you presents and candy when they want to sex you.
- I love how the people in Hotshot refer to each other – “uncle daddy” and “husband brother.”
Points Deducted:
- The unwelcome return of the Mickens clan.
