The Lucky 13: Week Five: Happy Hanukkah!
by Brutal As Hell staff
Intro by Marc Patterson
You know, I’m not sure my heathen ass is the best one to be leading off a round-up of films made by our favorite Jewish actors/directors/writers, etc. I’m really about as heathen as they come. However, it’s the season for embracing people and traditions from all walks of life and in this time of light within the darkest of days we take a joyful look at some of our favorite films and individuals from the Hebrew nation! L’Chayim!
Be sure to also check out The Vault of Horror, who continues on this weekly foray into the depths of horror cinema with us, for their selections!
Marc Patterson on Lloyd Kaufman:
I really wanted my pick this week to be David Cronenberg, and I wrestled with this one for awhile, but the thing is… he’s not Jewish. Never really has been as far as I know. Sure, he’s got Jewish blood flowing in his veins, but I’m not sure that for the week of Hanukkah celebrating an outspoken atheist is really the best choice. C’est la vie. Perhaps next time.
If I’m not going to talk about Cronenberg then there is really only one other completely amazing writer/director/actor to talk about, and that is (drumroll please) Mr. Lloyd Kaufman. The man has self-proclaimed that he is “Yale’s most profane Jew”. Indeed that may be very well true. And yes, Mr. Kaufman really is a graduate of Yale University. Outside of giving birth to the Troma Empire, and giving horror fans direct access to the filmmaking industry by essentially yelling “Anarchy” through the streets, he’s created some of horror’s most memorable bits of low budget, of which the most recognizable is Toxie, the Toxic Avenger.
However, Toxie was not my access point to Kaufman. Mine came through a different channel. Something even more “street” and more punk rock. I’ve talked about this film at length before, but never in the pages of Brutal As Hell, in fact I first wrote a review for this film back in 2006 that has never been published to date. I suppose today is a good day to finally print that bad boy. That film is the forgotten trash bin classic Tromeo and Juliet…
Here’s an old joke: who’s a better guitar player? Lemmy or God? The answer? It’s a trick question. Lemmy is God! Any film that kicks off – and is narrated by – Lemmy of Motorhead can’t be bad. With gratuitous amounts of outlandish sexual situations and “Tromatic” styled gore, Tromeo & Juliet pushes Shakespeare in a direction no one could have ever imagined.
The film perfectly captures the gritty essence of the mid-nineties punk sub-culture of New York City, and envelops it with an enduring tale of love and tragedy. Writer James Gunn (Slither) makes an evil entrance onto the horror scene with this film, and hasn’t slowed up since.
When it comes to direction, editing, cinematography, and sound quality I only need to say that this is this is a Troma Team DVD. It’s indie. It’s lowbrow. It is what it is. However, it’s the best at what it is. If you haven’t familiarized yourself with Troma outside of Toxie the Toxic Avenger then this wouldn’t be a bad place to start; as a matter of fact, it would be an excellent place to start.
Lloyd Kaufman and crew take on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet in a most unconventional, over the top, lowbrow, and gore-filled style. Without a doubt, this is one of the best films to have come out of Lloyd Kaufman’s studios. While none of the actors are necessarily memorable, the film as a whole is. To those of the uninitiated, don’t expect to find frightening situations, or tense moments, as Troma Team Videos are the ultimate lowbrow experience. But, when it all comes together like it does here, you’re in for a highly entertaining and memorable good time.
Annie Riordan on The Golem:
Don’t ask me why, but as I was pondering what film to choose for this week’s Lucky 13, a brief exchange of conversation from 1942′s Casablanca kept popping into my head. It comes as the Germans are asking Bogie whether or not he can envision the Nazis taking over Paris, London and finally even New York. “Well,” answers Bogie dryly, “there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.” The same might be said for the slums of 16th century Prague, where – if you persecute the Jews long enough – they will not only cut a bitch, but they will get a giant-ass solid stone mutha with a constipated grimace and the world’s worst pageboy haircut come and do it for them.
I speak, of course, of the 1920 silent classic Der Golem, a hauntingly beautiful retelling of the ancient Hebrew legend which is said to have inspired the look of The Monster in James Whale’s adaptation of Frankenstein just eleven years later. There’s lust, there’s violence, there’s a goddamned glowing green demon uttering sinister smoke words in lieu of decorative intertitle cards, proving that director Carl Boese was every bit as innovative as his colleagues Wiene and Murnau. It’s the least appreciated and most often overlooked apex of the Expressionistic triumvirate along with Caligari and Nosferatu. It’s absolutely required viewing if you’ve seen the other two. And as well as being a story of oppression and redemption, it is also a warning: be careful about whose back porch you piss on. Everyone’s got a Golem, and God help you if you’re the one who unleashes it.
Britt Hayes on Inglourious Basterds:
On this most awesome of Jewish holidays, what better way to honor the chosen people than Quentin Tarantino’s epic re-imagining of tragic history? The master of cinema mash-ups combines elements of classic World War II and Western films (and, naturally, a little exploitation), crafts his score mostly from old Ennio Morricone pieces, and includes the best use of David Bowie music since Labyrinth.
But the story here is more important. A group of Jewish soldiers calling themselves the Basterds and led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt and a sexy molester-stache) set out on a mission to collect 100 Nazi scalps (each!), strike fear in the hearts of the Germans, and – ultimately – kill Hitler with the help of German actress Bridget von Hammersmark. On their heels is the phenomenally unsettling and sinister (and maybe slightly delightfully cartoonish) Hans Landa (Cristoph Waltz), aka “The Jew Hunter”. And, unknown to our little crew, the lone Jewess that escaped Landa’s grasp – Shoshanna – has been living in France as a French cinema owner, plotting her revenge on the man who killed her entire family.
Inglourious Basterds is an astounding Jewish revenge fantasy spoken with cleverness and gall. There’s no gentle pretense or unnecessary and redundant victimization. We all know the horrific story of the Holocaust, but instead of focusing on the tragic genocide Tarantino asks, “What if the Jews got revenge in this war? What if there were these renegades out to kill Hitler?” He creates this fiction within the reality, giving us a villain and protagonists we’re unfamiliar with so as not to disrespect the past, but still allow him to play in the sandbox of history.
He also uses Jewish actors, like director Eli Roth as the notorious Bear Jew. A Bostonite with a baseball bat and a devastating swing. In one of the most intense and jarring scenes of the film, the Bear Jew is called on to kill a Nazi soldier, and for minutes we hear the sound of his bat banging on the walls of the tunnel before he emerges. If this weren’t stressful enough, we watch as he bashes in the Nazi’s brain and Tarantino’s camera refuses to allow us to look away.
In one of my favorite scenes from the film, Shoshanna prepares for her own battle in a feminine version of putting on war paint, set to David Bowie’s “Cat People”. While I couldn’t find a good clip of that, I leave you with Colonel Hans Landa:
Bryce Holland on Ghostbusters:
Ah, the December holiday season. It’s not really my favorite time of year, for a number of reasons, but there is one thing I have to give it: some of my favorite bits of entertainment center around the yuletide spell. Silent Night, Deadly Night, Black Christmas, Gremlins. All pretty different films, and yet each one kind of sums up this time of year in its own special way.
But, we’re not here to talk about Christmas or any of the films it has spawned. No, we’re here to talk about that other December holiday that all too often gets overlooked in the world of horror: Chanukah.
Now, in all fairness, I honestly can’t think of a single horror film that has anything remotely to do with Chanukah. Luckily, this week’s Lucky 13 installment isn’t about Chanukah-themed horror films. This week we’re simply paying tribute to our favorite horror films made by Jewish filmmakers, and my pick is not only one of my favorite horror films, it’s one of the films that got me interested in the very concept of ‘movies’ in the first place. It is the one, the only, the Ivan Reitman directed, Harold Ramis co-written masterpiece, Ghostbusters.
What is there that I could possibly say about Ghostbusters that hasn’t already been said about a billion times before by far better writers than I? There actually isn’t, so I’m just going to go kind of stream-of-consciousness and spout off all the things that make this magnum opus so fucking amazing: Zuul, Gozer, the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man, Harold Ramis as Egon Spengler, Slimer, proton packs, “That’s a big Twinkie,” that fucking creepy librarian ghost, William Atherton as one of the best antagonists ever, Walter Peck, Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, “If someone asks you if you’re a god, you say ‘yes’!”, Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore, Signourney Weaver in one of her sexiest roles ever, “Don’t cross the streams,” the immortal Rick Moranis as Louis Tully, “And the flowers are still standing!”, “Mother pus bucket!”, those unsettling floating books in the library, and Dan Akroyd as Ray Stantz.
Damn. Now that is almost too much amazingness for one movie. If you haven’t seen Ghostbusters, well… that’s damn near un-American.
Oh! Wait! I almost forgot one of the greatest comedic lines ever delivered: “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”
Alright. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve worked myself up just a bit, and now I need to go and pop this in the old DVD player.
