It Came From Underground
by Cory J. Udler
Welcome back to the underground. Please, forgive the mess. My maid is out of town and when chopping up a hooker you should always put down a tarp. A big tarp.
Last week I took the opportunity to introduce myself (read that column here) and now this week we dive into the world of the underground head first. Plug your nose and close your eyes.
Of all the things I’ve done in life nothing makes me more proud than being able to say I wrote 2 films for the legendary Ted V. Mikels. Now, if you’re not familiar with Ted V. Mikels, shame on you. You should be. If it weren’t for Ted V. Mikels, and filmmakers like him, many of the current breed of fringe movie makers wouldn’t be movie makers. One in particular comes to mind: Quentin Tarantino. No Doll Squad, no Kill Bill.
I was introduced to the wild world of Ted V. Mikels when I was 12 years old courtesy of Jonathan Ross’s Incredibly Strange Film Show. I don’t know if many of you know of the show – it only lasted one season and it was on cable. Yes, I was a privileged child, we had cable. Basically the show was an hour long profile on strange filmmakers and their even weirder films. John Waters, George Romero, Doris Wishman, Ed Wood, HG Lewis, El Santo, Jackie Chan, Ray Dennis Steckler, and Ted V. Mikels. Ted’s always stood out to me. I can’t really pinpoint what it was about Ted that made my ears perk up. Maybe it was the fact that the show started with Ted in the desert of Nevada playing an accordion. Or, later in the show, Ted showcasing his ventriloquism skills. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the movies. Astro Zombies, The Corpse Grinders, Blood Orgy of the She Devils. Whatever it was, I spent the next several years seeking out every single Ted V. Mikels film I could find. And remember, this was back at a time where you could actually FIND movies like Ted’s at video stores. Hell, I can even tell you which video stores had which movies. Thus began a life-long love affair with not only the movies of Ted V. Mikels, but of all fringe cinema. That show changed my life forever. Up to that point, I was like any other 12 year old. Star Wars, Indiana Jones – you know, the usual. I was even a horror fan at that stage. Zombie movies from what I remember. Zombie movies and Hammer movies. But it wasn’t until Jonathan Ross’s show that I realized B films, fringe films, grindhouse films, and drive-in films were movies that spoke to me. It wasn’t just the jarring subject matter. It was the filmmakers themselves. Steven Spielberg is a terrible bore. George Lucas may even be more laborious to listen to. Ted V. Mikels and John Waters, on the other hand, a pleasure to hear speak.
Somewhere in the last 5 years (it all becomes a blur after a certain point) I found Ted’s website. The first place I went was the “contact” link. I shot an e-mail off to the address thinking, “well, maybe someone will forward this to Ted,” not even thinking for one second that the e-mail address on the page was the PERSONAL e-mail address for Ted. I received a message back thanking me for my kind words and also a phone number to call sometime. It was Ted’s personal phone number. Are you serious?? This was a man who, for the better part of almost 20 years, I respected and admired and he’s just sent me his personal phone number? I’d be a horrible liar if I said I didn’t go a little numb. I, of course, called that number and talked to Ted, and 5 years later I’m proud to say that Ted and I talk on a regular basis. I really wish that I would have, over the last few years, kept copies of the phone messages that Ted leaves because they are always so jovial and warm. Nothing gives my heart a lift like getting a phone call from Ted to talk about what’s next on the creative journey I have been fortunate enough to take with him.
Several years ago, Ted had just finished work on what was, from what I could deduce, a personal film titled Heart of a Boy. It wasn’t an action or horror film, it was a family drama that I think Ted thought would be an “in” for him in the current film marketplace. It didn’t turn out that way and Ted thought a return to the horror genre was in order. I asked Ted if he ever considered outside writers for any of his films. He said sure and gave me the chance to write a supernatural horror film for him. I didn’t even attempt to title the film when I was writing it. I’m writing a film for the guy who came up with Astro Zombies and Corpse Grinders. Who am I to think I can come up with a better title than him? Ted initially called the film Demon Bloodlust, but I think found it a little too abrasive and re-titled it Demon Haunt. A few years later I wrote the 3rd installment of his Astro Zombies series, Astro Zombies M3: Cloned. If you would have told a 12 year old Cory J. Udler that he would have written an Astro Zombies film for Ted V. Mikels he would have called you crazy.
I still always say that writing the films with Ted and becoming friends with Ted is my proudest accomplishment in life. Now, as work begins on Astro Zombies 4, I take great pride in knowing that my tiny little mark on the world of fringe cinema is forever solidified. Between Incest Death Squad and writing films for Ted, I think my scar on the weird movie walk of fame is destined to live on.
If you do not know about Ted please take 2 minutes and visit tedvmikels.com or go to YouTube and search for The Incredibly Strange Film Show episode with him. You, like me, will forever be a fan and admirer of the king of strange movies, Ted V. Mikels.
Well, piggies, I have to crawl back underground before the sun comes up, or before the stench from this butchered hooker seeps through the ventilation system and into my neighbor’s window. It’s not easy being sleazy.
