It Came From Underground – September 17, 2010
by Cory J. Udler
Welcome back, piggies. Thank God for quick dissolve lyme! That 2 dollar whore I shoved in the trunk last week is melting away nicely under the house. The dog is suspicious about the smell, but the neighbors haven’t said anything yet.
If you’re reading this on September 17th, 2010 then I have to tell you that tonight is the world premiere of my newest movie, Incest Death Squad 2, at 9 pm central at horrorsociety.com. It’s free filthy exploitation, what do you have to lose? If you’re reading it afterwards, shame on you. Go buy a copy of parts 1 and 2 at incestdeathsquad.com.
I don’t know exactly how it happened, but it did. I have become a guy people ask for advice on making no/low budget movies. I even get asked to talk at colleges about filmmaking. This year I have spoken at Columbia College with Lloyd Kaufman, Madison Media Institute, and Illinois State University. The one thing I always say is, “I’m the wrong guy to ask about making a film.” And I probably am. Nothing I do is conventional in any way, shape, or form. I actually remember talking to someone who went to film school and had made a few films (none of which you’ve ever heard of) before I made Incest Death Squad 1. I told him my plan for the movie was to shoot every single frame handheld. You’d have thought I told him his mother gave great head. His eyes widened and his breathing got rapid. “You can’t shoot your first film handheld,” he exclaimed. He went on to tell me that my first film was my one and only shot to impress studios. It was everything I could do to tell him not to fuck off. Studios. It’s called “Incest Death Squad” for God’s sake! It’s about a brother and sister who fuck each other and kill tourists because they think God told them to. What STUDIO wants this?? He went on to tell me that all of my shots should have the best “composition” possible, the lighting should be perfect, on and on and on. As I slammed down my 3rd or 4th shot of Jagermeister, the guy continued to ramble on like a tobacco auctioneer about the “right way” to make a movie. It was then and there I decided that I was going to shoot this movie the way I wanted to. I was going to do the things I wanted to do, say the things I wanted to say, put the music in that I wanted to and fuck what anyone else thought. It was right then and there that I decided that it didn’t matter one bit what anyone else had done up to that point, what anyone thought “exploitation” or “horror” needed to be, or needed to have. This was my movie. I wrote it, I’m directing it, I’m doing the camera, I’ll be editing it AND once it’s all said and done I’ll probably be shlepping it across the world. And I’m proud to say that that’s exactly what I did.
I hope this doesn’t come across as me dogging anyone who went to film school – far from it. I respect anyone who completes an education in something they’re passionate about. I just don’t think that a diploma can teach you how to have vision or help you grow a pair of big massive balls. And that’s what you need, folks, to do this insane endeavor of indie filmmaking. A vision and balls. That includes all the talented women out there as well. The balls I’m talking about aren’t the intrusive nuggets between a man’s legs. It’s the balls that you can’t see, touch, suck or shave.
I watch a tremendous amount of indie horror flicks. I make it a point at every single convention I am at, whether I’m working for Full Moon or there promoting my stuff, to seek out the little guys with their own films. I always buy a copy from them. I always watch them. I find many times that some low/no budget filmmakers aren’t making “their” movie, they’re making the movie they THINK someone may want to see. That’s a huge mistake. There is no way you, on your shoestring budget, can compete with major Hollywood exploitation films like Machete. You have to accentuate the positive things you do have – which more than likely are the passion for your story and the love of making films. That shines through, believe me. One major example of this is James Hawley’s Sewer Chewer. You don’t watch one second of the movie and think, “Oh, he did this to impress someone at Fangoria”. James made the movie he wanted to make, no excuses, no compromise. Brandon Slagle’s Song of the Shattered, from what I’ve seen, is the same, along with Tim Stover’s The Back Room. It’s movies like these that renew my love of indie horror/exploitation.
Just define what it is you want. Do you want fortune and glory? Strive for it. Do you want to dwell in the underground making movies that you want to make and to hell with the mainstream? Do it! Just know your limitations, know your strong points, know your weak points. All I wanted to do on Incest Death Squad 1 was make the movie I wanted to make. And I did. I would suggest that more no budget and indie filmmakers do the same thing. The thing that separates us from the Hollywood exploitation and horror films and filmmakers is that we don’t have to answer to anyone. Do exactly what you want now. When you do hit it big, you’ll have plenty of time to make someone else’s movie. For now, make YOUR movie. The scene and the fans will thank you for it (as will I).
Also, allow yourself to screw things up. Allow yourself to shoot out of focus with a boom mic in the shot (that you can’t hear audio from because you didn’t plug it in). Allow the blemishes to show through. Trust me, you fuck it up once, you will NOT do it twice!
Next week I’ll share some real life horror stories from screenings and appearances I’ve made promoting Incest Death Squad. Believe me, if they weren’t true, I wouldn’t even believe them.
Thanks for reading, and keep supporting Brutalashell.com!
Take it sleazy….
