It Came From Underground – Sept 24, 2010
by Cory J Udler
So I promised Marc, and all of you, that eventually I would start to spit a little more venom than in the first month of columns. This should prove to be the one I have promised for a while.
When you make your own film, and choose to distribute it yourself, it’s basically up to you and only you to get the word out about the movie any place that will have you. I’ve done some really horrible radio shows and talk shows, for people who could not have cared less about me, my film or anything that came out of my mouth. One in particular I did in Madison, Wisconsin just before the release of IDS1 was a sort of faux talk show at a (very cool) bar, that is actually owned by Carmela Wiese’s (Amber Wayne in IDS1 and 2) fiancé. Looking out over the crowd gathered in front of the stage it appeared as though everyone in the place was either totally uninterested in me and my movie, or they were super stoned. Could have been a 50/50 split of both.
My good friends at HorrorSociety.com do wonderful film festivals at amazing Chicago theatres a few times a year. Last winter they decided to run IDS1. Chicago premiere, baby! Some of the cast were there as well, as this was a big deal for all of us. Well, we didn’t run until well after midnight and those that were left had been watching movies for 9 hours and were probably out of money to buy more booze to sustain their buzz. It went over like a lead balloon. At the end of the movie, the very last thing you see is a tease for the sequel “coming 2010”. I heard groaning. Ouch.
Seeing all of my great Chicago friends and seeing the theatre was so worth the trip, and anything I can do for indie horror I’m all about. That was a tough night. But nothing compared to the thorough shitting on I received in Tulsa, Oklahoma this past July.
I was informed by the curator of the Tulsa Underground Horror Film Festival that IDS1 was selected to air at the fest and was selected as “best in show”. Super honored by that. I had never been to Tulsa, and needed a road trip with my wife by that point, so I decided several months before the festival that I would be in attendance. As in life, it’s more about the journey than it is about the destination. Our trip was fantastic, a Route 66 sightseeing tour, the Jesse James Wax Museum (I’m a massive Jesse James fan, and a fan of that whole era of outlaws) and roadside neon motels.
We arrived in Tulsa right around the time the fest was starting, but my GPS went berserk. I think it was trying to tell me something. Tulsa is the hardest city I have ever tried to navigate around. Streets didn’t exist, some just ended, some led to nowhere. A total mess. I arrived at the club the festival was being held at 2 hours after I arrived in Tulsa. Seriously, I was always no more than a half mile from the venue, I just couldn’t get there. Or to my hotel. I knew this wasn’t going to end well, and it didn’t.
For beginners, I was at a table selling my stuff that was right in front of the women’s bathroom. God, how I prayed nobody ate Mexican before coming to the event. I was there with Oklahoma horror host legend, Count Gregore. A wonderful man, and from what my Okie pals tell me, is a living legend. He was just down from me, a little further away from the toilet, but right underneath the speakers that blasted music and obnoxious people’s voices all day. When I arrived, there was a “sideshow” on stage. I knew that there would be a burlesque show and a sideshow at the event, along with all of these great indie horror flicks. Now, here comes that venom I promised. Why in the fuck does a sideshow go hand in hand with horror films? All that this sideshow consisted of were big fat, weird tattooed dudes shoving huge fish hooks into their skin and hanging things from them. Or playing tug of war with the hooks in their backs. Oh, I almost forgot, at one point you could go on stage and staple dollar bills to a guy because the sideshow announced “they weren’t making any money by being there”. If you had a big bill, like a $5, you could staple it to his face. I wasn’t making any money by being there, either, but I wasn’t going to let anyone staple anything to me. So, remember how I said this was a FILM festival? In the 5 plus hours I was there I saw ONE film and a few clips of some others. Otherwise, it was this sideshow. Swinging cinderblocks from those huge hoop things in their ears. Film fest…fish hooks in flesh. Hmm..I was confused. I have never claimed to be the smartest guy in the world, but when I attend a film fest, I want to see FUCKING FILMS! Dudes bleeding all over the place from sharp metal objects pierced into their skin has no appeal to me, especially when I’m promised FILMS!
IDS started around 10pm and it seemed, to me anyway, that some people were actually kind of interested in watching it. So I sat at my table, talked to some people about the movie, having a good time. My pal James Hawley (Sewer Chewer, Jesus of Nebula) was right next to me, and I had never met James or his wife, and we got to hang out for the night. About 23 minutes into my movie music starts BLASTING over the speakers drowning out the movie’s audio. I look up at the stage and sure as hell, the sideshow’s dj had started playing music over my movie! Then, out of nowhere, a guy with fish hooks in his back starts swinging from them from the ceiling. Right in the middle of my movie. Now, these fucking pigs had hogged the entire show, mainly because I don’t think the festival organizer laid down any sort of ground rules about anything ahead of time. They ate up at least 3 of the 5 hours I had been there with their piercing shit, and now, during my 78 minute movie, they felt the need to play “look at me! PLEASE! Look at me some more! My parents didn’t give me enough attention! I’m going to stick some sharp metal up my ass and fly around the building! Seriously! Please! Look look look!!” I looked at my wife, looked at James and quickly packed up my stuff and quietly walked out the door. Wisconsin to Tulsa is quite a haul. I had been planning this trip for months. IDS was named best in show. Ruined. Shit on by a sideshow of no talents.
I was assured by the fest organizer that this sideshow would NEVER be allowed back at any of his events, but recently I noticed on the Facebook page that there is indeed a sideshow at his next event. One he wanted IDS2 for. Not sure if it’s the same one, but I would assume that any sideshow in Tulsa will probably consist of the same thing. I don’t want to be associated with it in any way shape or form. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not someone who thinks I’m better than anyone on the planet. But you know what? Never would I disrespect someone’s art, regardless of what I thought of it personally. Imagine me playing IDS in the middle of their piercing exhibition. Disrespectful, right?
After I left, James jumped into action and told the sideshow performers how shitty what they did was. From my understanding the head sideshow guy said something to the effect of “fuck these movies, fuck your buddy, nobody cares!” James has bigger balls than me because there was no way I was going to fuck with that lobotomized ape!
And now as I prepare to head into my “busy season” with festivals, conventions and screenings, I can’t help but approach it with not just a tad bit of apprehension, but also a thicker skin. I know what to expect. Can it get worse? Oh, sure it can. Will it? I don’t know. I hope not! But I don’t know. A few bad experiences aren’t going to keep me from meeting new people and spreading word around about my films. Films that I am insanely proud of.
So, if you still want to do this racket, be prepared. Don’t start fights with guys who jam fish hooks in their skin (right, James?). Take the good with the bad, don’t dwell, and if you get shit on, channel it. Write a column for BrutalAsHell.com and shit right back!
On a personal project note, my next film project, “Mediatrix” has been put on indefinite hold. I was hoping to shoot the film in October but the person who was to finance the meager $5,000 budget just kinda…well, disappeared and donations via IndieGoGo.com dried up incredibly quickly. I’m married to the idea of doing Mediatrix as my next film project and will find a way to make it in the spring. I always do. Looks like it’s time to dig even deeper into my stuff and get back on the Ebay train!
For those in the Midwest, especially in Wisconsin, there’s a fantastic film festival going on October 16th in Oshkosh. John Pata, the organizer and director of the very entertaining “Better off Undead”, is doing a film fest that showcases all indie Wisconsin horror films. Super stoked to be a part of it! More info can be found on Facebook, just search for Oshkosh Horror Film Festival. I’ll see you all there! Or, I’ll just see you here next week.
Until next time, keep it sleazy!
