Slash & Dine June: ‘Sleepaway Camp’ Hamburger Cupcakes
Sleepaway Camp
Welcome to Camp Arawak, where Angela has a little extra in her bun
Now I know back in December I promised you all butt showing by June, but since that is not entirely my style I think I’ve found something much better. This compromise is guaranteed to wow and shock you in ways you may never deemed possible. Although I must warn you, this is not for the faint at heart. If you are not sitting right now you probably should be. Ready….Set…..Here goes:
Ok, ok you all had to have seen that coming, but really can you blame me?
Like most people I spent Mother’s Day with my family. Unlike most people, my family is probably a little bit more… ooh let’s go with “eccentric” than the average family. We’re loud, we make fun of each other, and we really like to laugh at other peoples misfortunes. Every year around this time all of my dad’s family, my cousins, and the “uncles” that aren’t really “uncles” but you say they are (Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about) get together for a big camping trip. Furthermore, every Mother’s Day usually consists of an hour being dedicated to everyone begging me to come with and then telling me crazy stories in hopes of convincing me why this will be fun. Although thoughts of helping my aunt and brother slip laxatives in my “uncles” food for days straight and then locking him in his camper with no bathroom seems very appealing I usually never “bite” at the idea of going.
What ultimately happens though, is I go home and think of all the awesome camping themed slasher movies out there. There’s a ton of them! However, no matter which way I try to rationalize it I always come back to Sleepaway Camp being my favorite. I mean come on now, that ending! No matter how many times you watch it you’re always left with the feeling of: “What? It can’t be!”. Our beloved Angela is really a Peter and for a loss of better words, “Woah there’s her peter”. That’s some total ‘Put the lotion in the basket’ stuff right there if you ask me.
I have to give credit where credit is due, Robert Hiltzik, you may have hit a level of creepiness so high I can’t think of a movie since Sleepaway Camp that has created a bigger mind rape for me. On top of all that, what’s even more insane, did you all know that Robert Hiltzik dedicated this movie to his mother?! Great, I can’t stop laughing now and my cat is looking at me like she is annoyed and wants to eat me. Moving on….
From start to finish you are never quite sure what is really going on in this movie, but somehow you are ok with it. As a matter of fact, you are more than just ok with it, you start to love it because it hooks you in ways you didn’t expect. How can you forget the shower scene were Meg gets her back sliced open? I would definitely put that down as one of my favorite scenes in a horror movie.
So In dedication to Angela I’m giving you a recipe for something that will make your eyes say “What?” and your brain say “that’s just not right”. Cupcakes shaped like Hamburgers. Ya I said it, mini burgers that taste nothing like flesh, tomatoes, and cheese; but taste everything like chocolate, vanilla,and buttercream. So ask yourself can you handle it? Or are you going to rip some poor boys head off and do a war cry afterwards too?
To make some hamburger cupcakes you will need:
Food coloring:
-Red
-Yellow
-Green
For the vanilla cupcakes (these will be your “bun”) you will need:
1/2 cup unsalted butter
2/3 cup granulated white sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups (195 grams) all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup milk
Then you: Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a tin with paper liners (don’t use cute ones you are going to toss them).
In the bowl, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla extract.
In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
With the mixer on low speed, alternately add the flour mixture and milk, in three additions, beginning and ending with the flour. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
Evenly fill the tins with the batter and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until nicely browned and a toothpick inserted into a cupcake comes out clean. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. Once the cupcakes have completely cooled, peel the liners off and set cupcakes aside.
For the Chocolate cupcakes (these will be your “Patty”) you will need:
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup milk
Then you: Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a tin with paper liners (Don’t use cute ones you are going to toss them).
Mix together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition, then stir in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture alternately with the milk; beat well. Fill the liners 3/4 full. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean
For the Buttercream (These will be your “condiments”) you will need:
5 Large egg whites
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
pinch of salt
1 pound (4 sticks) unsalted butter
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Then you:
Combine egg whites, sugar, and salt in a heatproof bowl. Set over a pan of simmering water, whisk constantly by hand until mixture is warm and sugar has dissolved. Remove from heat and whisk on medium to high speed until stiff peaks form. Continue mixing until the mixture is fluffy and glossy, and completely cooled. With the mixer on medium-low speed, add the butter a few tablespoons at a time, mixing well after each addition. Once all butter has been added whisk in vanilla. Continue beating on low speed until all air bubbles are eliminated, about 2 minutes.
You are going to now want to split the buttercream into 2 bowls tinting one bowl with yellow color to make the “cheese or mustard” and tinting the other bowl with red color to make “ketchup”
Assembly and extra ingredients:
Sesame seeds or sunflower seeds with no shells
Orange juice
Green shredded coconut or regular coconut that you can mix with green food coloring
Then you:
Slice vanilla cupcake in half and pipe yellow frosting onto the bottom of the “bun”. Next cut the chocolate cupcake down some and stack on top of the yellow frosting. Follow by piping red frosting on top and then sprinkle some green coconut on that. Finish by applying top of the “bun” and lightly brushing with orange juice and then sprinkling sesame seeds on top to finish. Below – see some additional images and hover your mouse over to see instructions. Be sure to check out the video at the very bottom of the column to discover the winner to last month’s Nightmare on Elm Street contest!
