Dark Sky Double Feature: ‘Bonnie’s Kids’ and ‘Horror Hospital’
by Marc Patterson
Let me just come out and say it – I love Dark Sky Films lately. Hell… I think I’ve always loved them. Let’s review why.
1. Great original horror. Most recently? Deadgirl, The House of the Devil, Let the Right One In for starters. They’re also at the helm of Adam Green’s Hatchet 2, so the future is looking bright so far.
2. Terrific Reissues – Check out their rap sheet (link here). Not too shabby. Of the films they’ve released, I can attest that I own MOST of them, and am happy to say that I’ve laid down some hard-earned dough for them.
Well, this month we’ve gotten two more kick-ass reissues from what is the hottest house in horror right now. I sat down to take them in over a hot and balmy evening with a cold sixer of PBR. I watched these films tossing on Bonnie’s Kids first followed by Horror Hospital, figuring exploitation before horror. It seemed to work out pretty well for me, but you can really play this one out however you like.
Bonnie’s Kids (1973)
DVD Release Date: June 29, 2010
Director: Arthur Marks
Starring: Tiffany Bolling, Robin Mattson, Alex Rocco, Timothy Brown, Steven Sandor, Scott Brady, Lenore Stevens
First up is Bonnie’s Kids. This is a nearly forgotten exploitation film that practically lays down the foundation for modern Tarantino-styled grindhouse cinema. The film follows the exploits of two young sisters, Ellie (Bolling) and younger sister Myra (Mattson) as they murder their perverted stepfather and take off to the city to strike out on their own. It’s a revenge flick, a heist flick, and a great bit of summer time fun.
If you wanna love this film you have to fall in love with the two girls Ellie and Myra, which isn’t a tall task. Ellie is the smoking hot older sister, who holds down an honest job that supports the family. Since the death of their mother she looks out for her younger sister Myra, which isn’t always an easy task. Myra is a firecracker. She’s equally hot as her sister, but just knowing she’s maybe sixteen (as portrayed in the film) you kind of feel like a gross pervert if you tend to go for that. Myra has a real “fuck all” attitude and rushes headlong into trouble without much thought. You can be sure this will get the girls into some rather deep shit as the film goes on. Together they make a hell of a pair. Like the tagline says “Thank God she only had two!”
After the girls knock off and dispose of their perverted stepfather, they head to the city to look up their only known relative, some uncle named Benjamin Seaman, who is a self-made man from running a lucrative modeling business. But as it turns out, the guy is also quite the underworld boss. He welcomes the girls with open arms, brings them home to his ranch to meet his spoiled housewife Diana (Stevens), a woman with some serious lesbian leanings. It doesn’t take long before Uncle Ben pulls Ellie into one of his schemes. She’s the perfect girl for the job. Young, pretty, unsuspecting. When Ellie gets a whiff of the money involved, she gains an appetite for some personal freedom. 
This could be just the big break she and Myra need, but Ellie is going to need to use her charm to outsmart a pair of hitmen (that became the blueprint for the John Travolta/Samuel Jackson pair in Pulp Fiction), a dumb PI, and her uncle. Plus she’s going to need to keep her younger sister in check.
I really enjoyed this film for a variety of reasons. It’s not a complicated story, nor is it too deep. It combines the right elements of corruption, exploitation, sleaze, and action without convoluting the story or mucking up the water. This really makes it a great film to check your brain at the door, toss back a couple beers, and just enjoy. Like I said – a great summer time flick.
The two girls are in a word, endearing. You can’t help but love them. They’re kind of like the bad-ass doppelgangers to Jan and Marsha from the Brady Bunch with equal the amount of charm, and a shit ton more sexiness. Seriously, what’s not to love? Everything about them is pure trouble and irresistible. They not only carried the film – they were the film, so they just had to be good.
Rarely are such low-budget films without flaws, and Bonnie’s Kids is no exception. If you think you’re going to get the same smart dialogue that permeates most of today’s exploitation, again being modeled after Tarantino, then you might be disappointed. Early exploitation rarely had smart dialogue, and this script was clearly written by a man, in the 70′s. It’s dry and not representative of what a female might say, think, or act 
like. The acting is also rough in spots. Those dry lines are often delivered incredibly poorly, and just when you think there might be a tender moment it goes stiff with rigid acting, almost as if to say “is the camera rolling?” That said – I really loved this film in spite of it. We’ve had so much neo-grindhouse choked down our throats over the past few years that to watch this was just like sinking your teeth into the real deal. The good far outweighed the bad, and I’ve actually sat through the film twice now. There’s no mistaking true exploitation when you see it and Bonnie’s Kids have got it going on.
Horror Hotel AKA Computer Killers (1973)
DVD Release Date: June 15, 2010
Director: Antony Balch
Cast: Robin Askwith, Vanessa Shaw, Michael Gough, Skip Martin, Dennis Price
For the second feature of this Dark Sky double-feature, I dropped in Horror Hotel, AKA Computer Killers (Horror Hotel is a much better name, though). Oh what a wacky and goofy film this one turned out to be. I barely knew what the hell I was watching half the time. This was so bizarre, I can hardly begin to describe how ridiculous this film was.
You have these weird super troopers in their black pleather biker suits and white helmets who run around the mansion like club bouncers. Then there was this really weird Charles Xavier type dude, played by Michael Gough from Batman, in a wheelchair who wears a hat suitable for Huggybear. At his side is this perverted and twisted little midget who seems to get off on severed heads. Listen folks – you just can’t make this stuff up. Well, I suppose you can. After all, someone did. Let me try to walk you through the film, with photos and then you decide on whether you’ll want to see this.
Okay – so we have the opening number with Huggybear and his midget friend. They’re chasing down a couple of bloody folks who are running through the woods, and things work out quite well for Huggybear as they manage to lop off their heads with this blade device that emerges from the vehicle at exactly neck height and lops them off at just the correct velocity that it effectively manages to drop the head into the basket every time. Very horror chic.
Oh no! Nasty roadkill! Who’s going to clean that up?
Then we cut to a nightclub scene and meet Jason, who’s pissed off that the band stole his song! Fuckin’ wankers! (PS – I want that dude’s mustache)
Yes Jason, go away for the weekend, man. You’ll need the rest! The stress of having your song stolen is way too much.
So Jason heads off to this place called “Hairy Holidays” – not a place I’d go to, and meets a rather queer travel agent who seemed to have more interest in jumping him than jumping him onto a train anywhere. He sends him off to a countryside mansion for a very good price. Well – Jason gets to the train and wouldn’t you know it – he ends up sharing a seat with a nice looking young lady who happens to be enjoying her lunch. She looks yummy, and so does that apple! But the young lass is a bit tense about having a dirty rocker in her personal space and all. Here’s the best bit, possibly best line of the film. Jason says to the girl, “There’s no need to get so uptight about things! I’m not going to rape you!” REALLY? Did he just say that? Yes. Yes he did. Well, obviously that line put her at ease because from there she lightens up and proceeds to immediately tell him her entire life story in four part harmony. I’m not kidding. Whorehouses, red light districts, the full family history… you know, typical small talk on a public train.
Once Jason and his nameless girl friend reach the station they look for a ride to the mansion, but with none in sight they opt to take a leisurely stroll through the countryside. Alas, they get caught in a torrential downpour when two menacing bikers approach them. So what do they do? They catch a ride of course!
Upon arrival at the castle they learn there is only one room available (though notice the board is full of room keys). They’ll have to arrange something. Yeah – something like a hot shower and some sex! Then off to dinner with zombies. Okay, at this point I’d be the fuck outta here. I might not have even made it this far, but hey – I’m a guy and the tail does seem nice. But a bunch of zombified guests? Forget about it! I’m out!
It’s at this point that they meet the creepy old man (aka Huggybear, aka Charles Xavier, aka Batman’s caretaker), the weirdo ragtop woman, and the midget. Blood flows out of the faucet and yet they continue to stay. Bodies are being buried in the backyard, yet they stay and make sweet love. At this point escape is futile anyway. It’s kind of a given that you’re not making it out without a fight when you pass up the first twenty opportunities at leaving.
I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that Jason proves he’s got some real fight in him, and he’s going to need it because he’s landed in a twisted situation where folks are getting lobotomized and turned into controlled zombies for an evil purpose!
Okay – the good, the bad, and the ugly: If you like really cheesy, poorly-written horror films from the 70′s, then this is great. As you can tell from the screen grabs, Dark Sky did an excellent job with the transfer, really making this a heck of a good looking film. There’s gore, but not a lot of it. There’s nudity and sleaze, though again, not as much as you might in other Euro-sleaze flicks. It’s got a liberal amount of tongue in cheek and off the wall humor, and some great one-liners which really makes this more comedic horror than it does suspenseful horror. But I suppose that’s the point. All in all, you get action, humor, hot chicks, a mad scientist, rock n’ rollers… what more can you ask for!? I think I’ve said enough – and not given too much away. Now it’s up to you…
