‘Smash Cut’ – Splatter Matters!
Smash Cut (2009)
Studio: Shriek Show
Release Date: March 30, 2010
Directed By: Lee Demarbre
Cast: David Hess, Sasha Grey, Jesse Buck, Michael Berryman & Ray Sager.
Review By: Annie Riordan
When his brand new slasher film – Terror Toy – flops harder than an oxygen deprived salmon with advanced stage Parkinson’s disease, depressed director Able Whitman seeks solace in massive amounts of alcohol and the arms of his beloved stripper girlfriend Gigi Spot. But when the drive home later that night ends with Gigi’s death in a freak car accident, Able totally loses it…and he didn’t have all that much to begin with.
With the dead (and swiftly ripening) body of Gigi providing muse-like inspiration, Able embarks on an audacious new film project. With an endless supply of blood and body parts harvested from snarky film critics, money-hungry Hollywood tools and pretentious film students, Able sets out to make his pièce de résistance: a splatter film starring genuine splatter!
But what Able doesn’t know is that his masterpiece also stars the dead Gigi’s sister April Carson, a no-nonsense news reporter who is determined to find out what – if anything – Able had to do with her sister’s mysterious disappearance. With brilliant Private Dick(head) Isaac Beaumonde at her side and a neverending supply of guts in her hands, April plunges headfirst into the seedy world of indie filmmaking, a place far scarier than any splatter film could ever hope to be!
Inspired by the trashy 60s and 70s schlock of Herschell Gordon Lewis (who also provides the film’s wonderfully cheesy warning prologue), Smash Cut is both a satire of the soulless filmmaking machine that is Hollywood and a loving homage to classic grindhouse, complete with corny effects and old school snap-crackle-pop reels of grainy film. Apparently based on actual experiences suffered by director Lee Demarbre (Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter), Smash Cut is scathing, cynical, disgusting…and kinda cute.
David Hess, who hasn’t aged a single goddamned day since 1972, is perfect as the bug eyed Able, exuding oily sleaze and still managing to come off as cute. And frankly, I can’t believe I just called David Hess “cute.” That freaky fuck left a deep and lasting scar on my psyche back in 1988 when I thought that it would be a good idea to rent “Last House On The Left” because I’d liked A Nightmare On Elm Street so much – yeah, brilliant. But for nearly an hour and a half, Hess’s Able Whitman made me forget all about knife-wielding, gut-spilling, virgin-raping Krug. Now THAT’S acting!
No slouch either is the lovely Sasha Grey, winner of the 2008 Best Anal Sex Scene Award for her role in Anal Cavity Search 6. Whether she’s spouting Shakespeare or holding a pig’s heart in her hand, she’s a cool and classy dame with a raven mane that puts mine to shame. Dear Miss Grey: excellent job and may I please have your hair when you die?
Oh, and there’s also Jesse Buck as the flamboyant Beaumonde, Michael Berryman with eyebrows and hair (!), Ray “Wizard Of Gore” Sager getting a blowjob in the backseat of a limo, and on and on into the proverbial night. However, I will admit: I was dubious for the first ten minutes, wondering if this was going to be another painful experience I would spend the next several weeks trying to remove from my memory with an assortment of prescription medications. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. Once Smash Cut gained full speed, it picked me up and ran right the fuck off with me. I doubt it will amuse everyone as much as it amused me – I mean, you don’t HAVE to be a total grindhouse geekhead with no social life and an encyclopedic knowledge of schlock in her head to “get” all of the references and in-jokes here, but it does help a little.
However, there are a million good reasons to watch this movie: the hot strippers, the fake movie posters in the background, the gag-reel during the end credits, the aforementioned awesome cast, etc. You’ll find something you like. Seriously, what else do you need to know? Just go fucking Netflix it already! You have been warned!
Check out the trailer and some stills (and more) below…
