Slash & Dine April – Rabid Cream Cupcakes
Rabid Cream Cupcakes
You can’t trust your mother…your best friend…the neighbor next door
by Shannon Bucaro
I wish everyone could stare through their computer screen and see what I will be doing for the month of April. Hey now, get your head out of the gutter, it’s not that frightening or raunchy! I must warn you though, come April I usually give up on life and live with my head in the clouds 24/7. It’s true, don’t expect any deep, meaningful conversation out of me because I intend on wearing blue dresses and dancing in the sun as much as possible. My neighbors love me!
Now don’t hate, I really can’t help myself. Spring is what I live for. Don’t laugh at me, you would too if you lived in a city were Winter took up nine months, Fall is never in the budget cut, and Summer is so insanely humid you’re likely to forget your own name.
So I think you all get the point: April turns me into a wild beast. I must admit a little secret though, there actually is a man who knows how to tame this wild soul. I’ll give you a tiny hint: he sometimes rocks the title The King of Venereal Horror, or has even been called The Baron of Blood. Okay, okay, don’t twist my arm. If you haven’t figured it out already, it’s the one and only David Cronenberg. Are you happy now? You all know my kryptonite.
If you guys haven’t noticed, I’m a big supporter in celebrating the months my favorite movies came to life in. Rabid is one of my top three favorite movies of all time, and I’d be a fool to let April go by without acknowledging its birthday.
If you didn’t know any better, you would never guess 1977 was Rabid’s release year. Amazingly so, the story line, the picture quality, and even (gasps) the acting in this movie is a kind that won’t borderline piss you off. If you’re at a loss for what I’m talking about, check out the trailer for yourself:
Cronenberg taught me a lot in ninety-one minutes. He confirmed my fear of doctors, he validated my concern of human connection in fear that someone may eat me one day, and he pretty much summed up why I need disinfectant while on the “L”. I guess in a nutshell, he helped mold me into the human I am today.
So this goes out to all the doctors out there and their experimental surgeries that can potentiallly turn the population into rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth zombies. I want you all to know that I am ready for you! For I have a Boston Cream Pie cupcake, that when shoved in mouth and combined with no sleep, will make me look like a dead ringer for Dr. Keloid. Hey, if Billy Murray can impersonate a zombie in Zombieland, why can’t we?
To get ready for a zombie outbreak you will need:
Pastry cream:
4 Eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
2 cups milk
1 1/4 teaspoons Vanilla extract
pinch of salt
Then you can watch some cool video or just follow the instructions below!
1. Whisk egg yolks until smooth in a bowl. Combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a med. saucepan, and heat over medium heat. Stirring constantly, add milk and cook until mixture thickens and bubbles (about 5 minutes).
2. Pour 1/3 of the milk mixture into egg yolk bowl and whisk together. Then pour mixture back into saucepan and cook over medium heat, mixing constantly until it is thick enough to hold its shape when lifted with a spoon (2-4 minutes).
3. Strain mixture into a bowl, cover and refrigerate about 2 hours.
Cupcakes:
3/4 stick unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
3 Eggs
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla extract
Then you:
1. Preheat oven to 350F, and then mix together in a small bowl flour, baking powder, and salt. Also combine milk and butter in a small pan and bring to a boil at a slow pace and then cover and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix together eggs and sugar until thick enough to hold a ribbon on surface (about 5 minutes), then gradually add flour mixture until just combined.
3. Add milk mixture to batter at a slow steady stream and mix until smooth (don’t over mix). Lightly mix in Vanilla.
4. Fill cups halfway and bake for about 15 minutes.
Chocolate Glaze:
6 ounces semisweet chocolate; finely chopped
2/3 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
Then you:
Put crushed chocolate in medium bowl, bring cream and corn syrup just to a simmer in a small pan over medium heat, and then pour mixture over chocolate. Let stand, without stirring, until chocolate begins to melt. Then with a flexible spatula combine everthing until smooth and glossy looking
Time to assemble, shove in your mouth, and then leave me a comment telling me what your FAVORITE horror movie is and why. Hey I told you, so it’s only fair you tell me. Don’t be a jerk.
