DVD Review: HellBride – Marriage Can be a Real Bitch!
HellBride (2007)
Distributor: Brain Damage
Directed by: Pat Higgins
Starring: James Fisher, Rebecca Herod, James Kavaz, Cy Henty, Eleanor James
Review by: Ben Bussey
Lee (Fisher) is a stand-up comedian, his act full of musings on the tempestuous nature of romantic relations. To his considerable surprise, he’s come to the resolute conclusion that his girlfriend Nicole (Herod) is the one. Wanting to do the whole thing right in the old-fashioned way, he hunts down the perfect antique engagement ring, and asks the permission of Nicole’s father (Kavaz). It’s a match made in heaven, but for two little problems. First, Nicole’s father’s business dealings have not been quite so above board as they might have thought, leaving him with blood on his hands and consequences to face. Second, there’s the small matter of the antique engagement ring carrying an ancient curse.
I won’t mince my words here – I was looking forward to watching Hellbride about as much as one looks forward to gall stones. The reason for this can be expressed in two simple words: Brain Damage. As the distributor that brought us Taste of Flesh, Fist of the Vampire, Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned, and other such (ahem) delights, their label has quickly become a byword for the absolute worst of the worst in horror, movies that are riddled with ineptitude in concept, technique and performance. As another no-budget DV-shot flick made by a bunch of unknowns with a rather silly title and premise, there seems no reason going in to assume Hellbride will be any different to the Brain Damage titles that preceded it. So imagine my shock and awe when, on finally biting the bullet and giving it a spin, I found Hellbride to be… whisper it… actually not all that terrible.
The big surprise here is the extent to which the horror elements are downplayed, the supernatural chicanery (and, for that matter, the mockney gangster elements) largely serving as background for the central love story which is always the key concern. Yes, this is essentially your classic British rom-com – like what Richard Curtis would make if asked to do a Z-grade splatter flick. The characters and their relationships firmly take centre stage, the dialogue by far outweighing the FX and gore. And, believe it or not, this is to the film’s advantage. Hellbride certainly isn’t the first no-budget DV horror to attempt lengthy dialogue scenes and detailed character development, but it’s one of the only ones I’ve seen to actually do it well. Higgins’ script by and large works, and Fisher and Herod make for a convincing and likeable couple. In spite of my hard-nosed anti-sentimental self, I couldn’t help but find myself rooting for them, hoping they made it work. I know, I know, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the Twilight fans.
In spite of this, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hellbride struggles to find an audience. Assuming there are people out there who actually like Brain Damage films, they’re unlikely to be won over by this as it’s nowhere near as sleazy as their other titles; as well as being comparatively low on blood, Hellbride is completely devoid of nudity, leaving only a bit of gently risque humour to satiate the thirst for smut. And whilst the leads do reasonable jobs, Cy Henty is pretty terrible as the obligatory embarrassing best friend, and the same can be said for the bulk of the supporting actors. Also – although again this is pretty much a given with Brain Damage – the DV photography looks like shit and the sound isn’t much better either.
Just so we’re clear, Hellbride is no hidden masterpiece waiting to be discovered; it’s not something people are going to mention quietly in ten years time, prompting muted exclamations of, “Oh yeah, I remember that one!” But hold it up next to others like it, and Hellbride definitely exceeds expectations. It won’t change any lives, probably not even those of the people that made it, but it stands as a reminder that sometimes a tacky amateur horror film can genuinely surprise you, and you shouldn’t always judge a book, or DVD, by its cover.
