‘Monster Squad’: Platinum Dunes, You’ve Gone Too Far This Time
by Ben Bussey
That’s it. I’ve had all I can stands, and I can’t stands no more. Deadline reports that a remake of The Monster Squad is in the works, in the hands of original executive producer Rob Cohen, who has since gone on to become a director of near-legendary mediocrity. Now, that part isn’t exactly news; reports first surfaced of Cohen pursuing a remake mid-last year, and back in October Marc reported on another project entitled Monster Squad which was quickly established to be completely unrelated to Fred Dekker’s 1987 original (of which we haven’t heard a word since) (see article). The real kicker right now is that, according to Deadline, Rob Cohen “hopes to direct the remake,” and “will produce with Platinum Dunes partners Michael Bay, Brad Fuller and Andrew Form.”
No, no, no, for the love of God, no.
I will not deny that I am incapable of impartiality here; The Monster Squad was my first step into the horror genre as a kid, and to this day it remains one of my absolute favourite films. But you don’t have to be an established Monster Squad fanatic to know that these are completely the wrong people to recreate this movie for a new audience. The original skirts a fine line between infant innocence and adolescent ribaldry, managing to play both sides without alienating the other. I’ve seen little from Cohen, and positively nothing from Bay & co, to suggest that they are capable of creating a similar mood. As Quint from Ain’t It Cool (someone who gather is possibly even more fanatical about The Monster Squad than I am) quite rightly asks, “what kind of Monster Squad movie could possibly be made in this studio environment? There’s not going to be the same edge.” I couldn’t agree more. The Monster Squad is, in many respects, a bizarre anomaly of a movie, made at a time when both audiences and filmmakers were struggling to get to grips with just what this new fangled PG-13 thing was all about; subsequently, along came a bunch of movies that weren’t quite for kids but weren’t quite for adults either, movies which pushed some boundaries in terms of violence and language, and yet did so whilst still coming off as wholesome as Mama’s homemade apple pie. Can we really expect to get that kind of feeling from the director of The Fast & The Furious and XXX, and the producers of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes?
As I think you might have gathered, my hopes are not high. But, as ever, more as we get it.
