Interview conducted by Marc Patterson, Photo’s courtesy of Ian Merritt of IDM Photography

Shannon is one tough cookie from Wicker Park Chicago.  She’s the newest member of the BrutalAsHell.com crew, and writer of our original column Slash & Dine, having had the oven mitts handed over to her from our former columnist, Natalie Slater.  Since January she has wasted no time diving into the column, already putting her own fresh spin on the column and of course attracting a fantastic new base of readers.  By day she works as a hair stylist for Lather, an upscale salon in Chicago, but by night she’s cooking up the most devious and devilish of recipes for us to feast on while we wash it all down with a warm cup of horror.  Just as we expect from any of our ladies – she’s sassy, snarky, and just a hell of a lot of fun.   For Women in Horror month we talk old school horror, food, feminism and of course Jersey Shore!

Marc: You’re the newest member of the team and quite possibly the youngest, but also one of the most old school horror fans I know. I don’t know in the time we’ve been chatting that a modern horror film has come up once. Tell me about some of your favorite horror films, and why you think Saw sucks so much. And what about these older films is it that you love so much?

Shannon: Can we start off by saying the whole age thing has kind of gotten played out lately? I feel like everytime I turn a corner lately someone is making a comment about my age.  Way to go Marc, pick at the wound even more! Yes world I am 24, it really doesn’t mean anything, and I guarantee you when I turn 30 I will still think unicorns are awesome and prefer my pancakes in weird shapes such as battle axes and wizards. So wait, now what was the question?  Ahh yes favorite horror movies and the blasphemy that is Saw. I have to say some of my favorites are Re-Animator , Rabid, and Phantasm, but give me five more minutes and I’ll tell you why I also swoon over The Gore Gore Girls, Zombi 2, and Suspiria. There’s just something about the rawness of older films that can’t be achieved nowadays and that’s what I love so much. That and I honestly feel a lot of directors today are kind of a joke. They rely too much on over the top special effects and the dollar figure behind the movie to make their name a household one verses just putting their heart and talent into it. It’s just gotten so gimicky. I guess you can say the same about music too, I mean look at all the dudes running around in their sisters jeans and eyeliner. Cro-Mags FTW!  Sorry I don’t know what comes over me sometimes.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not some self righteous fool who won’t acknowledge a good modern horror film when it deserves it. I really enjoyed Cabin Fever, I thought the Hills Have Eyes wasn’t a bad remake, and although I think Rob Zombie is disgusting (Not in a good way) I didn’t cry too much while watching Devil’s Rejects. Ooh and I must say the French film Martyrs really brought a smile to my face. Hello full body skinning all for the sake of “religion”. Cha-ching. With that being said though, to me, Saw is like the Nu Metal of horror films. Have you seen some of the fools this franchise of films have brought out?  ”I like live, breathe and die for this stuff, like totally ya know what i’m sayin”?  No bro, I don’t “Know what ya sayin” but we can talk about some Fulci, or Romero, or even some Wes Craven.  And the look on these peoples faces afterwards makes you really question whether these “die hard horror fans” have ever seen anything outside of Saw and maybe Hostel. It’s really just a mockery!  Way to go again Marc, digging at the open wounds, are we really only on question one?

Marc: What’s your absolute favorite Fulci film that you could never go without?

Shannon: That’s easy, Zombi 2. Ya I know, I’m sure that’s cliche, but hell I’d like to turn into a zombie and fight a shark under water! I’d also like to give a shout out to Cat in the Brain because I find it extremely fascinating. If you all have read my January column you will understand why. If you haven’t read it yet please let me know when you will be in Chicago next so I can throat punch you. See Marc, this is how I win over the readers, I just have to threaten violence.

Marc: Same question, but Herschell Gordon Lewis.

Shannon: That’s easy. The Gore Gore girls. Are you sure we have never met before or you’re not somehow living in my brain? You ask questions like you know what I’m going to answer. Now should I go get my banner with “quit with tit” on it and parade around my street? If the chick from Jersey Shore is allowed to leave the house being the same color as an oomp loompa I think I won’t even be noticed. Told you I’d somehow take this interview and make it about GTL.

Marc: What exactly do you think of the fact that there might be a Puppetmaster and Re-Animator remake?

Shannon: I don’t care as much about Puppetmaster because then maybe I’ll get a decent boxset of the origionals since they tend to do re-releases when they have a remake coming out, but Re-Animator… Do we really have to talk about this? Do you get joy out making women cry? Do you want to kick my cat too while you’re at it?

Marc: Okay , I’m obviously digging open the wounds, so let’s not dwell on depressing stuff like horrible remakes.  Let’s talk food! So you’re vegetarian. What’s the deal with this whole vegetarian zombie thing? Are you for it or against it? I mean – c’mon, zombies are totally flesh eaters right?

Shannon: Here’s the deal, and I’m going to keep this simple and to the point. It’s 2010 and if zombies can run now give it like 5 more years and they’ll be eating nuts and berries too. Just sayin…

Marc: Insofar as your column is concerned – you’re clearly having fun and getting some great feedback. Give us a sneakpeek into your thoughts for the future of the column. What’s in store for readers?

Shannon: I have to say it really blows my mind every month when I get the total of viewings from you. Now this is where I get raw and talk about feelings. When you start doing something you have no idea how the world is going to take it. You don’t have any control over who’s going to love what you’re doing and who’s going to want to send you anthrax and egg your car. This started out as something fun to do in my spare time regardless of what other people thought, but the fact that hundreds of people are now reading my column every month just amazes me! I have gotten such good feedback and love from everyone and I just want everyone to know I completely appreciate it! (Oh and really people, don’t be afraid to use that comment section. I always read them and will respond!) As far as the future of this column goes, I plan on staying snarky, focusing on movies that deserve it, sharing tasty treats, more videos, and really just being ME. Oh and how could I forget about the free stuff, expect to see more contests over the months!

Marc: Any hopes for recipes for cannibals?

Shannon: Here’s the thing, I really am a whiz in the kitchen, however, I stopped eating meat when I was like 13. So at this point, If I tried to come up with a recipe and tought you all how to make it we would probally lose a portion of the worlds population do to salmonella. That is why when I do foods that aren’t baked goods I try to do a recipe that can easily be made into a cannibal feeding frenzy on your own terms. I already have enough stress on my shoulders Marc, I don’t need a “Slash and Dine” killed my husband/wife/child/mailman story on my hand.

Marc: Some of your recipes are pretty involved. We’re certainly never going to find a hamburger helper recipe anywhere near this column. Talk to us about why the process of working “from scratch” is so important.

Shannon: Did you know the children today are the first generation said to not outlive their parents? That to me is disgusting. Now I’m not here to tell anybody how they should eat. I mean if that’s what you guys want then go read a pamphlet or something. Plus I am completely guilty of scarfing down a batch of cupcakes topped off with a side of caramels pretty regularly. But I will say that I try to stay away from processed food as much as possible and that is why it reflects on this column. Besides the fact that your food will taste better I think there is something rewarding behind the whole DIY attitude. No don’t worry I’m not going to go burn my bra or anything , but this is my little piece in the world where I feel I can kind of “Stick it to the man”. Plus if you haven’t already you should go watch Food Inc.  Then I dare you to take a look in your fridge!

Marc: What am I not asking you about food that you really were hoping I’d ask?

Shannon: How I eat as much as I do and still manage to keep this amazing fizeek!  (laughs) Just kidding. While we’re on the topic of food let’s talk about some of my favorite places to chow down in Chicago.

1. Hot Doug’s – Fun for all involved and the only place I would gladly wait in a 2 hour line for a Veggie Dog. They’re simply as delightful as Doug’s face as he takes your order. One of my goals in life was to be 1st in line, I achieved it about a month ago. Go me!

2. The Chicago Diner – This is a place that you can trick your meat eating friends into going to on occasion and not have to roofie them. The food is basically vegetarian and vegan versions of your diner favorites. Can I get a Gyros with a side of Dagwood all topped off with a strawberry shake? Yes please!

3. IL Mulino – Holy old country. I haven’t eaten this good of Italian food since I was in Italy and my grandma was still alive!  This place is good for fancy date night or when you want to get dressed up with the ladies,eat spaghetti served by men with accents, and sip on some Grappa. Since I came back from Italy I have had dreams about this ravioli dish I ate, and I must say this place is the only restaurant to ever come close.

4. Bongo Room- I could never leave out breakfast as I’m one of those people who could eat it any time of the day. I’ll leave you with this description: Peanut butter pancakes, covered in chocolate, melted caramel, bavarian cream, and bananas. Ooh and don’t even get me started on their hashbrown potatoes. Can you marry a potato, because I so would do naughty things to this recipe.

5. Fritz Pastry – This is one of my favorite cafe/bakeshops for many reasons. I’m sure you don’t have all day so I will keep it as this : Salads that won’t make you want to cry and baked goods so fresh you will wonder if they came straight out of the oven right then and there made specially for you. Plus, just sitting in this place is a de-stresser. The whole atmosphere is just so cozy and welcoming.

Marc: Okay, now that I’m salivating at the bit, let’s kick it back to the gore for a minute – Cannibals vs. Zombies – It’s the grindhouse film I want to see made and we’ve talked about this before. Who are you rooting for to win and why?

Shannon: This needs to happen. Now, as in let’s get the whole Brutal as Hell crew together and let’s make a movie! But I guess then we’d still have to decide who would win this epic battle. Or we can be jerks and just leave everyone with a big cliff hanger. I’m honestly as unsure as the next person on this topic, because I sit here and weigh out all possibilities for to long and then I just get frustrated and go eat a sandwich. This is were I am stuck at right now: cannibals will have the speed advantage if we are talking old school not digitally screwed with zombies, and I think they have the battle of the brains won (Pun intended). A cannibal could totally out smart and trick a zombie. Think traps or who knows maybe even a cannibal can impersinate a zombie to blend in. But now on the other side you have the fact that zombies would probably out number cannibals and at a way more rapid rate. Also if you want to get technical too, in order to kill a zombie you have to shoot it in the head so a cannibal would have to be way more accurate in killing a zombie than a zombie would have to be to kill a cannibal. Then you have the end all of be all questions….”If a cannibal ate a zombie, wouldn’t they inturn become a zombie?” See thanks man, this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night, I’m going to eat a “BLT” and some onion rings and watch Tool Academy now.

Marc: Okay, before you go do that we should talk about “Women in Horror” a bit.  We’ve pretty much determined you’re an ass kicking gal from Chicago. I think that if anyone even were dumb enough to make the notion that somehow you or your gals “need a guy” they’d get the now famous Shannon “Knock em’ dead” throat punch. You obviously can hold your own and we’ve never even met face to face. Tell me, what do your friends make of your fascination with horror? And what do you make of the notion that horror is primarily a guys domain?

Shannon: Wow Marc, you’re going to make me blush here. I honestly think one of the best responses to my horror obsession has come from my dad. If you ever come into my apartment you will quickly see that no matter were you look you will see something awesome. It’s pretty much filled with old horror movie posters and toys. My shower curtain even has a dude with a knife on it! Anyways, to the point, So my dad comes in takes one look around and goes “So…ummm…are you like goth or just obsessed with death?” That moment right there is when I knew I had made it as an awesome human being.

I once had a dude tell me women horror fans are like sasquatch, not real. Said dude now eats all solid foods out of a straw. I can love horror, just like I can drink out of the same water fountain as you- get over it dude. AND I can do all of these things fully clothed. I don’t need to get naked and write my column across my boobs for the world to take notice. I mean honestly, I don’t want to see some dude write his column across his wiggly parts. Woah mental vision.

Marc: You’re totally not a “final girl”, but you’re also not the slutty girl that gets knocked off first. I’d liken you more to one of those strong females typified in films like The Descent. So, who are some of the gals in horror that you have come to admire?

Shannon: Again with the blushing!  (laughs) There’s always a part of me that gets pissed off when I watch horror movies. Especially scenes were the girl is crying in the corner and the killer is coming to claim her head. For me it’s like really? Lady do you not see that umbrella, shower rod, glass over there?! Anything becomes a weapon at that point and if that were me Slayer would be playing in my head and it would be on!  Regardless, I love love… LOVE, Marla English and Barbara Steele. There is something about them that is just so captivating. Call it a girl crush if you will. Oh and I could not answer this question and not make note of Asia Argento! Hey Asia holla at me!  We can be friends and play bingo together.

Marc: Any final thoughts before this interview self-destructs?

Shannon: So no joke….when does Jersey Shore start up again? My Thursday nights have gotten way less cool. Editor’s note: There’s a secret rumor going around that Shannon can totally fist pump like it’s no-one’s business. Maybe if we all petition for it we’ll get to see some fist pumping in the kitchen in a future column!