Interview Conducted by Marc Patterson

Annie… Where do I start with this gal? Annie is like a long lost sister I never knew I had. Several years ago I had the good fortune of meeting Annie not much more than after a couple of months into my year long tenure with JoeHorror.com. It was my first official reviewing gig, one I took to keep my writing chops up to par for when I wasn’t hacking out short fiction. When I took off into my own direction to start up a website that would eventually become BrutalAsHell.com it was Annie who partnered with me to build that site to what it has become today. Who would have known that years later the two of us would still be hanging together and still writing and talking about the genre we love so much?

Annie is really quite an amazing person. Not only does she churn out an insane amount of film reviews, but she’s really is hands down the master of direct to video horror. She has a sharp tongue that will rip a film to shreds if it doesn’t hold up to par, and believe me… she’s seen enough films to know the good from the bad. In addition to cranking out the reviews Annie writes one of our original columns, Cinematic Haunts. Cinematic Haunts started out highlighting paranormal places featured in horror film, but has come to encapsulate so much more, touching on historic haunted locations, and giving modern ghost hunters destinations to seek out. Interviewing Annie was an interesting experience because we’ve known each other for so long I was tempted to just chat it up with her. But I wanted to make sure I could really give you all a more in-depth visit with a gal who is a true Woman in Horror. So as they say, “Without further ado”…

Marc: Okay, we have to cover at least a few basics. Instead of asking you how you got into horror, etc… I’ll start with a few basics and then get more tricky. First, tell us about what turns you on. What do you look for in a really good horror film?

Annie: I look for a good, strong story and some genuine scares. On the whole, I want a movie to make me think, rather than just count the bodies. But that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy a mindless splatter film now and again. Movies like Happy Hell Night perk me up after a bad day, whereas films like The Innocents and The Orphanage will forever haunt my brain. It just depends on my mood: am I hungry for Duck a l’Orange or deep fried Twinkies?

Marc: We first met at JoeHorror.com about four plus years ago and we’ve pretty much been inseparable since. So, how long have you been reviewing horror films, or writing for horror themed websites?

Annie: Joe Horror was my first actual gig. I’d been reviewing films for fun over on IMDb for about a year prior to that, but I’d been keeping a written record of horror films I’d watched since I was about 10 years old. I’d never really considered doing it “professionally” until JH approached me. To me, it was just a hobby, a way to unwind after the day job. Being asked to review movies for a website was like being asked if I wanted some ice cream and fudge sauce to go with my plain brownies. I was like: “Really? I have that option? Yes please!”

Marc: You watch an insane amount of direct to DVD films and review them for me. (I’d like to clarify to the audience that I don’t assign films) So why?

Annie: I feel it is my solemn and patriotic duty to wade through the detritus of horror in order to warn my comrades what not to waste their money on in these harsh economic times. HA! No, in all honesty, I really don’t mind watching direct-to-video shit. Sometimes you find some real gems mixed in with the waste. Besides, they gotta be reviewed and I know no one else wants to do it. I don’t want kids, so this is MY version of the “walking to school, both ways, uphill, barefoot in ten feet of snow” guilt trip that I can trot out whenever someone complains about how bad the latest slasher remake was. And, when I was still very young (maybe around 6 or 7?) I’d decided that I wanted to see every horror film ever made. I’d stay up and watch USA Up All Night with Gilbert Gottfried and sat some really spectacularly wretched films (Demonwarp, anyone?), so I stupidly figured, “How much worse can I possibly do?” However, after having sat through Jin Won Kim’s The Butcher, I do try and be more selective about the films I choose to inflict upon my psyche. I’m not subjecting myself to that shit again.

Marc: Let’s talk about favorite sub-genre’s. We know how much you like watching guys cut off their wankers… but there’s got to be more?

Annie: WHAT?! I do NOT! Okay, so I enjoyed the ending of Hostel 2. Sue me. Sub-genre’s, hmmm. I don’t know that I have a “favorite” per se. If I was forced to choose one, I’d have to go with zombies, just because they honestly scare the shit out of me. I won’t even go down to the laundry room after dark for fear I will be descended upon by a rotting horde of flesh-eating undead. It’s ridiculous, I know, but what are zombies? Mindless, emotionless automatons driven by a primal need to satisfy their own twisted urges…it’s not so unrealistic a fear when you break it down like that. Half the people I cross paths with on a daily basis would qualify as zombies.

Marc: Do folks ever look at you weird when you tell them that you review horror films?

Annie: People look at me weird regardless. You’d think no one had ever put Taco Bell hot sauce in their mac and cheese before. Yeah, I actually get more flak from girls for watching horror movies than I do from guys. A lot of them do the whole “take one step back” thing and look at me like I’ve just suddenly and loudly farted. And the first thing they almost always ask me is: “How can you watch that stuff? It’s so gross/offensive/sexist etc.?” Yeah, uh huh. And the portrayals of women in Chick Flicks as shallow, needy, clingy, weepy, anorexic, drama-addicted, insecure, I-am-nothing-without-a-boyfriend-and-a-bigass-fairy-tale-wedding is NOT gross/offensive/sexist?

Marc: Bruce Campbell or Jeffrey Combs?

Annie: Do you even READ the articles I write for you? Pfft. If forced to choose, I would have to say Jeff, which sucks because I’ve actually met Bruce and he’s cool as hell. But saying that I prefer Jeff is not quite true either. I prefer Herbert West as characterized by Jeff Combs. I don’t personally know Jeff. Maybe I’d meet him and think he was a total dick. I mean, I seriously doubt it, but ya just never know.

Marc: You’re a big fan of the paranormal in TV/Film, etc. What’s the deal with this whole Jason/Grant thing? No more love for Ghost Hunters?

Annie: None whatsoever. I still watch GHI (Ghost Hunters International) but I’m done with Jay and Grant. I tuned out last year, shortly after Jay made a remark on national television that he had believed that their latest clients were “full of crap.” Even though he immediately stated afterwards that he was incorrect in his initial assumptions, I just thought it was rude and tactless. I was already getting annoyed with them. The economy is collapsing, people are losing their jobs and there they are, showing off their newly purchased Bed and Breakfast in the countryside and playing with great big shiny new snowmobiles. I just thought it was bad timing and poor taste. I have nothing against the pursuit of the American Dream, but even if you do make it big, you really don’t need to jam the spectacle down everyone’s throats, especially not in this day and age. It was becoming obvious that they weren’t interested in the ghost hunting aspect of their fame anymore, but they sure as shit were enjoying the money that came with it. To me, it was the equivalent of seeing my favorite indie band doing a jingle for a peanut butter commercial or something.

Marc: So what’s the next big thing I should watch in paranormal TV?

Annie: Ghost Adventures. Seriously. And I’m not just sayin’ that because Zak Bagans has enormous biceps, either. It’s a fun show, they do real-time evidence reveals as opposed to uber-boring-let’s-wait-until-the-end-of-the-fucking-show-to-find-out-that-we-just-wasted-an-hour-of-our-lives, and the guys (Zak, Nick and Aaron) have an amusingly childlike enthusiasm about the whole thing. Oh, and Zak Bagans has enormous biceps. Did I mention that already?

Marc: Paranormal Activity; Did it live up to the hype?

Annie: Y’know, honestly? I really thought it did. I went to see it at the theater last Halloween, hoping to be scared shitless. Of course, I wasn’t. If there’s one drawback to being a horror film reviewer, it’s the fact that you get jaded really quickly. Nothing scares you anymore. But if I wasn’t a such a geekily huge horror-head, I probably would have been genuinely freaked the fuck out. No, it wasn’t the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, but it was very well made and acted. I was impressed.

Marc: Cinematic Haunts column – You’ve been expanding into covering more paranormal locations and not just places seen in film and you’ve done a great job in attracting a pretty unique audience. If you had to spend the night in one of these places which one would it be and why?

Annie: Aww man, I can only pick ONE? Pfff, hmmmm…uh…well, I haven’t written about this one yet but I would totally spend the night at Bobby Mackey’s music world in Kentucky, preferably during the autumn or winter months. I used to live in southern Indiana, and that’s not a good place to be in the summer. I’m not scared of ghosts, but I do have a problem with Titanic-sized insects.

Marc: So you don’t get scared of ghosts, or demons, and the paranormal… where did the fascination come from?

Annie: I used to be terrified of demons as a child, and I blame most of that fear on The Exorcist, which I saw when I was 12. My mom didn’t put a lot of restrictions on me as a kid, but that was one of the very few movies that I wasn’t supposed to watch, and I suffered in silence for a long time afterwards because I didn’t want to admit what I’d done and then get in trouble. When I turned 18, I got my first adult video rental card for the mom-and-pop video store across the street, and the first thing I rented was The Exorcist. I forced myself to watch it over and over again until it no longer scared me. Ghosts though; I don’t remember a time when I did NOT believe in ghosts. I grew up watching shows like “In Search Of” with my mom and she was very open in discussing the paranormal with me. So, I was always open to the possibility but never had any experiences of my own until I was well into my twenties. When it happened, I was far less scared and far more accepting than I thought I’d be. Honestly, what drew me to writing the Cinematic Haunts column initially was the “abandoned building” part of it. I love abandoned structures, snuck into a few condemned houses to party as a teenager, etc. There are places like Trans-Allegheny and Pennhurst that I cannot believe are NOT haunted. When you consider all of the human suffering that occurred there how could there not be a few echoes left behind?

Marc: Lovecraft… Go.

Annie: I’ll let you in on a little secret here: I didn’t really get into Lovecraft until just about ten years ago. I was avoiding him because my dad had been a huge fan of his stories and I really didn’t want to have anything in common with my father (let’s just say he was an asshole and leave it at that – uh, my dad that is, not Lovecraft). I kinda danced around him, reading Ambrose Bierce and Charlotte Perkins-Gilman and Robert Chambers, everyone BUT Lovecraft. Then I finally realized just how stupid I was being. I happened upon a paperback copy of his stories at my ex’s house, picked it up and read Dagon straight through on a whim…which wasn’t very difficult since Dagon is, what, about four pages long? But it was enough.

Marc: Okay it is women in horror month, so let’s talk about gender issues. Do you have any gender issues?

Annie: What are gender issues? I have lots of issues, but none are particularly gender related.

Marc: Who are your favorite women in horror?

Annie: You know, I don’t really have any favorites to be honest. I remember looking up to Adrienne Barbeau as a kid because I worshipped John Carpenter. And I always thought that Barbara Crampton was a total fucking hardcore trooper robo-babe. But really, I was always paying way more attention to the guys.

Marc: What horror films are you looking forward to seeing this year?

Annie: The Elm Street remake, if it ever gets finished that is. Shutter Island, for sure. Those are the only two I am hoping to catch on the big screen, so far. And if anyone but Jackie Earle Haley had been cast as Freddy Krueger, I probably wouldn’t be as interested.

Marc: Well thanks for talking to me for this feature. Now get back to reviewing that huge pile of direct to video shit! Just kidding – seriously thanks for all your hard work and just know this is me trying my hardest not to say something snarky as I close this interview!