by Britt Hayes

Anchor Bay has acquired Cine Tel Film’s remake of I Spit on Your Grave (aka Day of the Woman). You’d think with Anchor Bay’s acquisition we’d only get a DTV release, but that’s not so. Anchor Bay plans on releasing the film in the US, UK, New Zealand, Australia, and Canada. The film will get a theatrical release sometime this fall, with a DVD/Blu release in early 2011 (I’m thinking they’re going for the October/January model).

The original 1978 film was written and directed by Meir Zarchi, and followed heroine Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton and her iconic ass), a writer who rents a cabin in the woods (never a good idea) to finish her latest novel. Jennifer dresses provocatively and immediately catches the eye of a group of skeazy guys and their mentally challenged friend who prey on Jennifer in the woods one day, gang-raping her several times before they end up at her house for one last hurrah. Jennifer isn’t a normal lady though, and she doesn’t take it, ahem, lying down (I’ve got plenty where that came from). I Spit on Your Grave is an iconic piece of horror cinema, and a classic revenge tale much loved by horror fans, especially us lady folk who tire easily of “final girls” who scrape by on dumb luck. Jennifer Hills takes her revenge in gruesome ways, and even though she seems justified in exacting her revenge, you can’t exactly praise the actions of her or her abusers.

I Spit on Your Grave is one of the most famous, iconic, and cringe-inducing horror films ever made, and perhaps even more famous for Roger Ebert’s appalled reaction to not only the film itself, but the audience he viewed it with. It’s probably one of the few times I’ve ever disagreed with Ebert, a guy who I look up to immensely. Say what you will of I Spit on Your Grave, it gets people talking.

Naturally, I’m weary of a remake. It’s directed by Steven R. Monroe, who’s handled such gems as Sasquatch Mountain and a host of SyFy (formerly SciFi) channel made-for-TV “horror” films. Newcomer Sarah Butler plays Jennifer, and her short resume includes Bird Flu Horror, another SyFy treasure. I’ll break here to say that, at this point, I wonder why they didn’t just make this FOR SyFy. At the very least, I’m suspicious of director Monroe and his real intentions. Is he just using the I Spit on Your Grave name? Will this film even respect the original? I’m doubtful.

Rounding out the rapists are Chad Lindberg (Supernatural), Rodney Eastman (A Nightmare on Elm St. 3 & 4), Jeff Branson (Guiding Light), and Daniel Franzese (Mean Girls, Bully). Lindberg will play Matthew, the mentally challenged guy from the original film, but I’m willing to bet he’s no longer “simple” in this remake. Wouldn’t want to upset the Palin monster. The only bright spot in this, for me, is Daniel Franzese – an actor I absolutely adore.

A question mark on the cast list is Saxon Sharbino (the upcoming Earthling), playing a girl named Chastity. I hope and pray that they aren’t giving Jennifer a little sister in all of this, or that the guys aren’t raping the little sister and Jennifer’s avenging her. Good grief.

Anchor Bay senses the apprehension of horror fans, and their Senior Vice President of Acquisitions says he “can safely say that this remake not only honors the 1978 original, but will shock today’s audiences as never before.” You know what else promised to be shocking? The remake of The Last House on the Left. And that was a fucking horrible film, although I applaud it for at least attempting to be brutal during the rape scene, it still fell incredibly short in comparison to the original. The villains weren’t psychotic enough (seriously, where was Sadie playing with intestines?), and the brutality was PG-13, at best.

I will say that I’m excited that this remake of I Spit on Your Grave is getting a theatrical release, if only because the film nerd in me loves a trip to the theater. And hey, if it fails spectacularly, I want to see it fail in the biggest way possible: with 40 oz. of cherry slush and a box of Raisinets, watching it fall apart on a giant screen.