Tiffany Goes From Jailbait to Fishbait in ‘Mega-Piranha’

Posted on January 13, 2010 by Deaditor

tiffanyby Ben Bussey

Here’s a little snippet about a movie I should by all rights have absolutely no interest in seeing, yet now can’t help but be curious about. Soon as I read about this, I just had to share. It just touched me, deep down.

According to The Foywonder of Dread Central, ‘In what absolutely positively has to be intentional stunt casting on the part of The Asylum, former teen pop princess Tiffany has been signed to star in their Mega-Piranha mockbuster. Tiffany’s heyday was the late 1980’s, and her biggest rival at the time was Debbie Gibson, who you may recall starred in The Asylum’s Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. No way this casting is a coincidence.

Mmmm… Tiffany. That little flame haired minx with her denims and her knee length knitted sweaters. It was through her that I first learned what a woman was. Oh, the standards the women in my life have battled to live up to since. (Fascinating to see the fires of hatred still burn between her and Gibson. I can just see them like Bale and Jackman in The Prestige, constantly out to get each other in a neverending battle of one-upmanship. And yet Gibson never did Playboy…)

Let’s not beat around the bush when it comes to The Asylum. They’re low enough on the cultural value scale to make Uwe Boll look like a filmmaker of impeccable standards. With the likes of Snakes On A Train and I Am Omega (the latter sullying what should be the good name of the kick-ass Mark Dacascos), they specialise in feeble cash-ins designed to sucker those who don’t look closely enough at DVD sleeves, doing nothing but ride the coat-tails of other filmmakers in a manner which is really distasteful, even in this unimaginative age of perpetual remakes.

Having said that, if they’re casting Tiffany in the equivilant of the Riley Steele or Kelly Brook role in Aja’s Piranha 3D… what can I say. I’m there.

Look for Mega-Piranha on DVD late April. Unless… I dunno… you have a life.