Slash & Dine – Baked Spaghetti with Fulci
“I think I’m going mad, as if my brains being eaten by a cat, or better yet baked spaghetti”
by Shannon Bucaro
Wait you again? Did I miss something? Now I know New Year’s is pegged as the go to night for drunken debauchery, however, don’t worry it’s still January. You didn’t somehow rage so hard you managed to black out until February? We’ll just consider you all lucky, and call this a bonus round. You’re welcome.
So now let us reflect on the past couple of weeks. Chances are by now you’re in a state of déjà vu from years previous. New Year’s probably didn’t live up to what you thought, I’m sure exercising daily has gone out the window, and unless you’re in Hawaii, it is ungodly cold and you’re starting to go a little stir crazy; kind of Lucio Fulci Cat in the Brain style. Now am I right, or am I right?
To even the proudest of Chicagoans, January is a month that makes us all question our geographic location. Mother Nature likes to full throttle us with a lovely cocktail of rain, snow, sleet, and ice, all topped off with gusts of 50 mile an hour winds. She’s so kind isn’t she! I personally take this as my cue to start hibernation, or what I like to refer to as “Fulci Time”
For me, Fulci’s Cat in the Brain is a brilliant addition to any gore hounds January watch list. Don’t believe me? Just watch the trailer and see for yourself:
There is more gore in these 2 minutes then most 2 hour long films! Lucio does a perfect job of showing exactly how we all are feeling right now; slightly unstable, a dash of cabin fever, and like we’ve seen this all before. Sure the man re-used a lot of footage from his previous films, plays himself as the main character, and even borrowed from other directors without asking, but its Lucio Fulci! Bless his little cotton socks, I would name my first born after him if given the chance. Really how could you not love the man?
If Fulci were alive today I would gladly have him over for this sinfully good baked spaghetti. Despite the fact that he is a Northern Italian and I am a Southern Italian, we would set our differences aside, slurp our pasta in sequence, laugh at the uncanny resemblance of our main course and the brains being spewed across the TV screen, and raise our middle fingers in a big F-You to all the critics who slammed him. So here’s to the true “Godfather of Gore”, baked spaghetti, and words to live by. “Who said I used the zoom to much in my films? Ok let’s zoom until it hurts…Too much gore in my films? Time to kill some ladies with my own hands!”
To make baked spaghetti Fulci style you will need:
2 cups canned diced tomatoes
2 cups tomato sauce
½ cup diced onion
½ cup diced green bell pepper
2 cloves garlic, chopped
¼ cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
2 small bay leaves
1 ½ teaspoons Italian seasoning
1 ½ teaspoons of salt
1 tablespoon of black pepper
1 tablespoon of garlic powder
1 ½ teaspoons seasoning salt
1 ½ teaspoons sugar
(This is the end of ingredients for the sauce)
1 Bag of meat substitute crumbles (I use Light Life) or 1 1/2 pounds ground beef for the carnivores
8 ounces uncooked angel hair pasta
1 cup shredded cheddar
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack
Then you will:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F
Chop up your onion, pepper, garlic, and parsley
In a medium pot, combine the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, chopped goods, seasoning mixtures, sugar, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil over high heat, and then reduce to low heat and let simmer, covered, for 1 hour. Now step away from the kitchen and go knit something, or tune up your chainsaw. Whatever floats your boat.
Now that an hour has past, it’s time to return to the kitchen and get your meat cooking, or in my case your mock meat. Whatever option you choose, just add meat to a skillet and cook based on manufacture instructions or free will. Nothing fancy, you just want it fully cooked, this isn’t Cannibal Holocaust.
Once meat option is cooked, add it to simmering sauce and continue to simmer on low heat for 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, take another medium sized pot and fill almost to the top with water and add a little bit of salt. Bring this water to a boil and then add the pasta. Cook according to box instructions which are usually about 6-8 minutes.
Time to watch my video and then bake in the oven for 30 minutes!
Top the casserole with the remaining cheese, return it to the oven, and continue to cook until the cheese is melted and bubbly, about 5 more minutes. Cut into squares before serving and enjoy!
