‘Piranha 3-D’ Release Date Pushed Back, Not in 3-D?
-They seem to be having the same reaction to the news as we did.-
by Marc Patterson and Ben Bussey
In what happens to be the news of the morning (or late last night if you were paying attention) Alexandre Aja’s upcoming 3-D remake of ‘Piranha’ has been pushed back to an unspecified August release date, from its original release date of April 16. While a release date getting the studio shuffle isn’t anything new, this does come with the added baggage that the Weinstein Company has been suffering from financial woes. They claim this move has nothing to do with their finances. We speculate (as do others) that the close release date to Kick Ass will severely hamper the turnout for the fish feeding frenzy, even if presented in 3-D, which brings us to our next sore subject.
It is rumored that Piranha 3-D will NOT be getting released in 3-D. Shock Till You Drop reports that “sources close to them” have said that when the film does arrive in August it won’t be in 3-D.
This is a particularly tough piece of news as August hasn’t always been a good month for the Weinsteins, and with 3-D films particularly hot right now, this seems like a direct shot to the foot, giving them but one wobbly leg to stand on. Honestly, I’m not sure I’m interested in seeing this film if it’s not presented in 3-D. I mean… after My Bloody Valentine the the doors for gratiutious nudity and carnage in 3-D really blew wide open. And with that… I give you our second opinion on the matter from Ben Bussey:
Fuck. Just… fuck.
Looks like Alexandre Aja’s ‘Piranha 3-D’ – the movie that myself, Marc and thousands more maladjusted males with a mental age of about twelve have been anxious to see ever since it was announced – might be up a certain creek without a certain implement. First of all, Shock Till You Drop announced that the release date of the movie has been bumped forward from April to August. Now to my mind that’s no biggee, as bikini babes getting ravaged by killer fish is pure summer schlockbuster material anyway. But then – ‘ulp – they tell us ‘when the film does arrives in August, it will not be in 3-D.’ Okay. Now I feel like I’ve just heard the truth about Santa. And then CHUD elaborates, the reason for the delays, and why the movie will not be in 3-D… The Weinstein Company ‘cannot afford to release the movie.’
Fuck. Fuckity fucking fuck fuck.
I’ve already read a few comments from people taking glee in this, delighting in seeing the great Weinstein elephant beast brought to its knees. My response? Fuck that. I don’t know or care how arseholish the men themselves might be in life; they’ve brought us innumerable great movies over the last two decades. They brought us Tarantino, Rodriguez and Kevin Smith for crying out loud. If they’re fucked financially, well, I’m not going to pretend I understand how all that works, much as how I couldn’t understand how New Line could go under within five years of Lord Of The Rings.
But above and beyond that – I don’t want us to lose ‘Piranha 3-D’ because of it. Yes, okay, it’s another remake, but I’m on very much the same page as Marc with this one – the original is not exactly sacred ground, and everything we’ve seen and heard says that Aja (a largely straightfaced intense scaremeister to date) is going out-and-out bloody popcorn shits-and-giggles with this one. And as Devin Faraci of CHUD points out, ‘if the movie is 2D, how silly will it be? Aja apparently embraced the 3-D gimmick, so there’s lots of stuff coming at the camera, including blood and boobs.’ I tell you, I am shit sick of hearing people coming out of Avatar, stroking their chins and talking about ‘image depth.’ Bullshit! 3-D is for one thing and one thing only, and that is for shit to come flying in your face, particularly tits and innards!
And the next big question: does this mean The Asylum are going to delay the release of ‘Mega-Piranha?’
On behalf of myself and all the juvenile man-children out there, here’s hoping TWC are able to sort things out, and we still get some blood in the water this summer, in three dimensions as intended.
Just for this injustice… we’re reposting that hot photo of Riley Steele who will be starring in the upcoming Piranha 3-Maybe film.
