by Britt Hayes

Are you stumped on what to buy your favorite horror-loving friend/child/significant other/weird basement-dwelling extended relative? Look no further. In part one of this three part guide, we’re taking a look at collectibles, action figures, and toys. I’ll be listing these from least expensive to most expensive, ’cause I know your mom’s thrifty like that. All prices don’t have shipping included unless otherwise indicated, so if it says $10.99, it’s $10.99 plus shipping.

I absolutely love blind boxes. They’re cheap, and you never know which figure you’ll get. Perfect stocking stuffers. This collection features Bart Simpson in various horror designs, by various artists. The figures are 3 inches tall and include keychain attachments. $6.95

Stuntman Mike is so damn dreamy. You can have your own NECA 7 inch incarnation of the foxy fella from Quentin Tarantino’s half of Grindhouse, Death Proof, for $6.99. I dare your girlfriend to deny the appeal.

NECA presents the Cult Classic Hall of Fame series 3 Captain Spaulding 7 inch figure. Enjoy Spaulding with his full clown costume for only $10.49.

Everyone’s favorite serial killer now comes in action figure form, complete with your very own blood slide. Dexter Morgan action figure from Biff Bang Pow! comes with interchangeable arms, a knife, full trash bag, police department ID badge, and stands a proud 7 inches tall. This is soooo on my wish list. Dexter costs $11.72.

I LOVE this Cinema of Fear Series 2 Nancy Thomspon figure. The bathtub scene is an all-time favorite, and now you can recreate the scene anytime you want, for only $11.99

Zombie pet shop! These are so friggin’ adorable. I especially love the fish and its giant, bulging red eye. Perfect for a little zombie lover in training or your off-kilter girlfriend. $13.99

Ever thought to yourself, “Spiderman’s okay, but I’d really love him if he were a zombie….” Your wish is granted. For $13.99 you can put this little bastard in your collection. Maybe he can save the other zombies in your collection from…themselves? Other living superheroes? I don’t know. He looks bad ass though.

The Cult Classics Hall of Fame series 2 Saw 2 set has Jigsaw in his famous cape and Billy the puppet on his little tricycle. Got a friend that drags you to the theater every Halloween for Saw? This or the series 5 Pig Jigsaw figure (also with Billy and tricycle) are perfect. $14.90 for series 2, $16.19 for the series 5 Pig Jigsaw.

The Cinema of Fear Friday the 13th remake figure. This GQ-looking motherfu…Jason’s looking pretty sharp isn’t he? I didn’t realize how good he cleans up. His hockey mask looks pissed off, though. I myself still prefer the grimy, unwashed heathen Jason of yesterday, but if you were a fan, or know a fan, of the remake, this is your figure right here. $18.00

The Movie Maniacs Brundle Fly action figure looks so sad. Look in his eyes. He needs a home. Will you take him home? He’s only $18.00, and he won’t spit on guests or impregnate you with a maggot baby.

Glow in the dark zombie playset comes with 9 zombies, ranging from 1 inch to 3.25 inches. The Amazon page warns that it’s not for children under 3, and it poses a choking threat to children under 8. I think this is perfect for a friend or co-worker’s cubicle. Bored? On hold with accounting for 3 hours? Play with zombies! Rahhhhhh HR complaaaaiiiiints….or something. I especially love the businessman zombie, and the one in pink sweat pants looks like PMS super-bitch girlfriend zombie. Eek. $18.44 for the whole set.

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. Get Ash and his boomstick in full S-Mart get-up with this NECA S-Mart Ash 7 inch action figure for $19.94.

One of the most anticipated horror films of the last few years was Trick ‘r Treat, and everyone instantly fell in love with Sam, the film’s central character. NECA has a great figure with a lollipop, candy bar, sack, interchangeable head, pumpkins, and display base. $21.32

Now you can control the walking dead with your very own remote control zombie! I’m not sure what he does other walk, groan, and bitch about brains, but it’s still pretty awesome. Remote control zombie comes with a brain-shaped remote (Get it? Har har), and requires 3 AAA batteries. He’s a handsome 7 3/4 inches tall, and runs $29.99.

This is one of my favorites on the list: Toy Vault’s mounted Cthulhu wall trophy. Now you can pretend you bagged your very own Cthulhu, and he’s much cuter than most action figures. $30.47 Or you can get a regular 12 inch Cthulhu plush from Toy Vault for $19.95.

This adorable little plush is a 2008 Comic Con exclusive from Mezco. Jason gets a brand new jersey (#13), a very bloody mask and machete, and a soft and cuddly interior. $32.99

I can’t tell you who the hell makes this talking Jason Voorhees, and Google will be of no use, but a shop called Heroes Club in San Francisco, California sells it, and they list it on Amazon for $49.95. This has been on my boyfriend’s wish list for some time now.

I much prefer this special edition Captain Spaulding with hot dog shirt to the one at the beginning of the list. This figure is a Cult Classics exclusive, 7 inches tall, with hat, pistol, monster hand, bag of fried chicken, and interchangeable hands with tattoo. He’s yours for $49.99

This is a fantastic collector’s item. My boyfriend and I found one at a horror convention a couple of months ago, and he bought it for $60. In 1989, Matchbox released a talking Freddy Krueger with a pull string. He says things like “Welcome to Elm Street” and “Let’s be friends!” The toy was actually discontinued and pulled off the shelves to “protect children”. Basically, the folks are Matchbox weren’t paying much attention when they started selling a pedophile child-killer doll to children. You can pick up your own talking Freddy, still new and in the box, for $59.95.

Tutti fuckin’ frutti! Everyone needs their own Baby Firefly. Every. One. This Baby figure from The Devil’s Rejects is made by NECA, is no longer produced, and comes with shotgun and knife accessories. Baby is $62.49 Or, if you’re feeling generous, pick up the Devil’s Rejects three-pack for $124.99, featuring Baby, Captain Spaulding, and Otis.

The second best moment from John Carpenter’s The Thing captured in a 4 inch tall figure from Now Playing. The best moment, of course, being the blood test scene. Now if only someone would come out with a diorama of that!  $119.99

In this Gentle Giant collectible, Jason Voorhees is seen taking a break in an outtake from Freddy vs. Jason, sitting on his childhood bed. His machete is resting on Freddy’s hat, and Freddy’s glove can be seen on the bed. Jason is holding his childhood teddy bear. Poor widdle Jason. Him is tired. $145.00

Sideshow has a bad ass exclusive Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger 12 inch figure. It’s one of 750 in a limited edition. The figure comes with a removable finger blade (one of Freddy’s early inventions, pre-glove), glove,  newspaper with Freddy headlines, hat, and jacket. I always found it eerie seeing Englund in the Freddy get up pre-burn. It’s a damn fine collectible, but one that will set you back $199.99

As a little girl, I loved Elvira. I wanted to be just like her. As a grown up, we have a few things in common: an interest in horror, similar cup size, and we’re sure as hell not cheap. This Sideshow Collectible costs a pretty $319.99

Sideshow Collectibles is well known for their high-end and expensive collectible figures. This 16 inch polystone diorama of the queen alien from Alien is gorgeous and deadly. She was first designed by HR Giger in 1979, and has been terrifying screens for 30 years. Oh, and she’ll only cost you $399.99

That’s it for the toys and collectibles. If I left out anything you love, feel free to leave it in the comments. I’ll be back tomorrow evening with part 2 of the Brutal as Hell Holiday Gift Guide: t-shirts, posters, and artwork. If you’ve got any personal favorites, hit me up on Twitter.