Slash and Dine November – Stuffin’ Muffins
by Natalie Slater of Bake & Destroy
Happy November, everyone! Might I start out this holiday post by stating that I despise Thanksgiving? That’s right, me – the girl who keeps a notebook next to her bed incase she dreams about any good new recipes. I hate the most gluttonous day of the year.
Part of my distaste comes from being vegetarian for the past ten years. (Coincidentally, if you like gore, you’ll love the turkey slaughterhouse videos features on most vegetarian activist groups’ websites this time of year.) But more than that, there is not one single part of me that has any desire to stress out about cooking for two days, make a huge mess in my kitchen for a meal that will be mindlessly inhaled, spend another few hours cleaning up only to discover that it’s only 2pm and there is nothing to do but watch football and fall asleep on the couch for the rest of the day.
Festive I am not. That being said, there are certain elements of Thanksgiving food that I can’t go without come November. One of the best fall flavors, in my opinion, is cornbread stuffing. Savory onions and sage, crunchy corn and celery – it melts this icy heart of mine. So I wanted to bring all the flavors I don’t hate about this time of year together in an easy-to-make, easy-to-clean-up form so portable you can eat it with one hand while you drive your car away from your family as fast as you possibly can.
And as an added bonus, my lovely assistant Shannon suggests grabbing a few Stuffin’ Muffins and settling in to watch Herschell Gordon Lewis’ 1972 turkey, Gore Gore Girls. In what many consider to be the worst horror movie of all time, strippers with tasty names such as Suzy Cream Puff and Candy Cane are dispatched in a number of sous chef-approved manners. From French fried heads to death-by-meat tenderizer it’s a horror-obsessed home cook’s dream.
Now if only Eli Roth would make his faux Thanksgiving trailer a reality my column for next year would all but write itself.
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup corn kernels, fresh or frozen
1/2 cup chopped celery
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon dried sage
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoons salt
dash black pepper
1 cup stone-ground yellow corn meal
1/3 cup vegetable shortening, plus more for pan
1 cup milk
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Preheat oven to 350 and coat muffin pan with shortening.
Melt butter in a medium sauté pan over medium-high heat; add corn, celery and onion.
Cook, stirring occasionally until the corn and onion are softened, about 5 minutes. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, sage, baking powder, salt and pepper.
Stir in the cornmeal.
Using a pastry blender (or a fork) cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles course meal.
Add milk, egg and sautéed vegetables, stirring just until combined. Scoop batter into prepared pan and bake about 18-20 minutes, until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted in center of the muffins comes out clean.
Transfer to a wire rack to cool.
These are best served fresh and warm.
