Bad Biology (2009)
Director: Frank Henenlotter
Reviewer: Dustin Hall

And the winner in the category for WTF?! Movie of the year is: Bad Biology!

I suppose this shouldn’t come as a shock, given the history of Henenlotter’s past features. Basket Case, Frankenhooker, heck, Brain Damage is probably the only movie I’ve seen where some back alley felatio ends in someone’s brain being pulled out through their mouth… I could be wrong. His penchant for shocking, hilarious movies only continues here.

Of course, Bad Biology is probably less of a monster movie than these previous installments, though it could be a love story between two monsters of a sort. The first is Charlee Danielson as Jennifer, a girl stricken with seven clits (well, seven visible, she’s full of them on the inside), and an insatiable sexual appetite. If seven clits isn’t enough to put Jenny in the ‘monster’ category, how about that her hyper-metabolism causes her to become pregnant with and give birth to mutant freak babies within two hours of coitus? And she orgasms so hard, she kills her mates more often than not. Okay, now she’s on the Monster Squad.

Across town is a young man named Batz (Anthony Sneed), who has a tremendous penis. Not just any penis though: this is a sentient, drug-addicted penis that leads its ‘owner’ around town in search of drugs and fresh vaginas. Three TVs with porn have to play around the clock to keep his penis in check. This wouldn’t be so different from any other guy, except that his sentient penis gives his ‘victims’ orgasms that last for hours, and may ultimately cause their death.

What comes in between this eventual, inevitable meetup (aside from Jenny) is a series of sex jokes and perversions raunchy enough to make dozens of people walk out of the theater. One couple literally walked into the screening late, saw what was on screen, and walked back out. Aborted mutant babies tend to do that to people.

But it’s not all tits and farts, though there is at least one instance of one, and about 50 pairs of the other; somewhere in Bad Biology, there is something clever being said about relationships. There’s of course the obvious metaphor of people being controlled by their sexuality, both for physical satisfaction as well as emotional. There are also a few brilliant moments, like Jenny’s flashback to her first boyfriend, being seduced by literally dozens of cliché lines about love and romance, while feverishly stripping her clothes off. The number of terrible lines being thrown her way and her reaction to them are priceless, though perhaps not as good as his reaction to her monster vagina, a mark of embarrassment and shame to the then-virgin.

Of course, wrapped around a few moments of brilliance is probably the most gratuitous movie ever made. This is the pinnacle of B-Movies, Boobs galore, Blood and Bad Acting. Some of the bad acting is intentional. The fourth wall is broken constantly as Jenny, who is really our main focus, addresses the audience about her various manias. While her delivery seems intentionally strained, most of the rest of the cast are about as talented as your usual High School drama club. Though, the stoners are amazingly realistic in their portrayals, probably due to some in-depth role research. Regardless, hats off (among other things) to Miss Danielson for her Jennifer character: not only was she funny, but she’s sexy and naked and offensive every moment she’s on the screen. Whether fucking or giving birth, everything she did in this movie really took some balls.

Shocking, offensive, about as well put together and tasteful as your average Troma release. Obviously the critics out there hate this movie, and it’s going to offend the hell out of your average movie-goer. But for those with a taste for black comedy, you’ll find yourself laughing and applauding at the end. And maybe even strangely aroused.