DVD Review: Sea Beast
Sea Beast (Troglodyte) (2008)
Studio: Genius Products
Release Date: June 30, 2009
Directed By: Paul Ziller.
Cast: Corin Nemec, Miriam McDonald, Camille Sullivan, Daniel Wisler & Gary Hudson.
Review By: Annie Riordan
Something is stalking the waters off of…um, wherever this movie takes place, plucking fisherman right off their boats and dragging them beneath the waves, never to be seen again. Skipper Will McKenna, short on cash, but long on hair, knows that something fishy is going on, especially upon finding congealed pools of green slime all over his deck after the latest crew member goes missing. Pretty blond scientist Arden identifies the goop as venom, used by certain fish to paralyze their prey so they can feast at their leisure. With a reluctant assist from the town drunk and Will’s sheriff brother, a search party heads out to find the beast.
Meanwhile, Will’s teenage daughter Carly has slipped off for an illicit weekend at the family cabin on the island with her boyfriend Dan and their friend Erin, a pretty African American girl whose African American boyfriend never shows, because this is a horror movie and the black people always die first. Soon, Carly and Dan find themselves stranded and surrounded by hungry baby sea beasts and their pissed off mommy. Can daddy save Carly before they get eaten by the crappy CGI effects?
Okay, all snide comments aside, this was a pretty fun movie, despite the stereotypical execution of the only black people in the cast. The CGI sucks, but I love a good monster movie, and this one is held up fairly well by a reasonably good script, a capable cast and a no-nonsense approach to the sea beasts themselves. I liked the fact that the movie never tries to hide their monsters or create red herrings (no pun intended) to lead our characters astray. Nope, the monsters walk right up and say “Howdy” and one wag even has the good fortune to capture one on his camera phone before being munched upon. It’s a refreshingly direct approach.
There’s no sex or nudity, but there’s plenty of gore to make up for the lack of skin: evisceration, bisections, decapitations, the woiks. There’s an impressive amount of blood on display here, squirting out from open wounds and gory stumps galore. Even the ending takes a decidedly non-saccharine turn and fails to promise a sequel with a lame “there’s still one left” ploy. Thank you, movie. If I had to see another cop-out twist ending I was going to put my fucking foot through the screen.
Borrowing heavily from films such as Predator and Aliens (but not, thankfully, Alien Vs. Predator) Sea Beast is just a lot of fun. And, I hate to admit it, but I even thought Corin Nemec and his Fabio-inspired hairdo was fuckably cute. I can’t say the same for Miriam McDonald as his whiny daughter, but hey, at least she wasn’t a blond…or played by Scout Taylor Compton.
Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 out of 5
