DVD Review: Black Swarm
Black Swarm (2007)
Studio: Grodfilm
Release Date: January 13, 2009
Directed By: David Winning
Cast: Sebastian Roberts, Sarah Allen, Robert Englund, Rebecca Windheim & Jayne Heitmeyer..
Review By: Annie Riordan
Wait a second…a made for TV movie about killer bugs that isn’t a total piece of shit? How did that happen?
Not that Black Swarm is a particularly brilliant piece of cinema or anything. It’s not going to win any awards any time soon. But I’ve seen much, much worse. Black Swarm just may be the best movie about killer wasps I’ve ever seen. Of course, it’s also the only movie about killer wasps I’ve ever seen…unless you count American Psycho. (Get it? Killer WASP? Heh.)
Anyway…pretty young widow Jane Kozik returns to her hometown of Black Stone NY, having accepted a job as deputy sheriff, dedicated to protecting and serving the town’s dwindling population. Her 9 year old daughter Kelsey almost immediately strikes up an unlikely friendship with Eli (Englund) a reclusive beekeeper. When the corpse of a murdered drifter disappears from the morgue, Jane is forced to team up with her old flame – and, conveniently, her dead husband’s identical twin brother – Devin, who is the town exterminator. Seems that a particularly nasty strain of wasps has descended upon Black Stone, wasps who can sting their victims to death within seconds.
Except, the drifter was strangled to death, and last time anyone checked, wasps don’t strangle people. The town’s residents are acting weird, stumbling around like zombies and emitting weird buzzing noises. And the leggy entomologist assisting in the investigation may not what she seems. Neither is Eli, who knows more about the wasp infestation than he’s letting on. But when Kelsey is put in danger by a sinister black ops project, Jane, Devin and Eli team up to save the girl and exterminate the hell out of the deadly wasps.
Yeah, I know – sounds ludicrous, doesn’t it? And of course, it is. However, good acting saves this movie from its own mediocre plot and often silly script.
I only rented this movie for Robert Englund, not expecting it to be worth two shits in a communal toilet. But happily, Englund gets to play a good guy for a change. And newcomer Rebecca Windheim as Kelsey is refreshingly saccharine free. She’s a normal and likable little girl, and her scenes with Englund are worth the rental fee alone. I kept waiting for Eli to turn into a dangerous perv, but although he waggles his fingers in front of Kelsey’s face at one point in a nod to Freddy, he becomes a weird, curmudgeonly sort of father figure to the kid. Almost makes you wanna say: “Aawww!”
Also faring well is Sheena Larkin as blind babysitter Beverly. The old dame is a hoot. Wish I’d had cool babysitters like that as a kid instead of the bitchy big sis.
But I digress. All in all, Black Swarm is silly and predictable, but harmless fun. I can think of at least 100 worse films you could watch.
Not bad for a B movie.
(haha, get it? Bee movie? Wasps? Okay, I’ll stop now)
Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 out of 5
