Details on New ‘Chainsaw Massacre’ – What Cannibal Subtext?
by Britt Hayes
Besides being in 3D, what else can we expect from the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre when Twisted Pictures put their spin on it? Shock Til You Drop has an exclusive with producer Mark Burg. In the conversation, Burg says, “What we’re going to do with it is bring it to 2010.” Okay, are you just remaking it, then? Burg continues, “Make it current day and come up with a new story that takes some of the basic plot points, if you will, and make it a current day movie. I don’t want to make another Chainsaw in the 70′s, that doesn’t thrill me.” This still sounds like a remake, just modernized. There wasn’t a whole lot in Platinum Dunes’ first Chainsaw outing that said it was in the 70′s, other than a mention of going to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Maybe Burg is taking the Rob Zombie approach – borrowing elements from the 70′s and injecting them in a modern-day movie in a bid to come off gritty and stylish, but really just confusing the fuck out of the audience.
Also adding to my apprehension is the addition of writer Stephen Susco, who penned the American remake of The Grudge, perhaps one of the dumbest movies ever made. It doesn’t help that I’m not a huge fan of Japanese ghost stories in the first place, so remaking them and dumbing them down for American audiences really only makes them worse. But, like I always say, let’s not judge the writer just yet. For all we know this could be the movie he was meant to write, and everything else he’s ever done (like, umm, The Grudge 2) could’ve been an easy paycheck.
Burg vaguely clarifies the plot: “We’re coming up with a ‘what if?’ It’s 35 years later, there’s a relative going back. Why is he going back? I don’t want to set it in a dusty town. How do we make it more urban but keep that feel. There will be some relatives, some new people. There’s still the subtext of ‘are they eating these people?’ The whole idea of cannibalism, we’re bring it back.”
That doesn’t clarify much besides telling us that it’s a sequel, not a remake; honestly, I don’t think Burg even knows what they’re doing yet. It’s kind of him to give this information to fans, but maybe he should wait until they have it figured out. What sort of relative would go back? A relative of the family? Has he/she been out on extended Chainsaw Rumspringa, but decided that the cannibal life is the way to go? Or is it a relative of one of the victims? At that point, you wonder who would be alive 35 years later that would give a shit about their (most likely) parent’s sister or brother getting killed. Maybe it’s that baby that Jessica Biel saved, but from what I understand in this interview, Burg is ignoring the Platinum Dunes stories and making a sequel to the original film(s).
The other thing that strikes me is his rejection of the setting of a “dusty town”. Here in Texas, those aren’t dusty towns. Those are the places we drive through to get between the actual cities, and pray we don’t get a flat tire or need assistance in the middle of the night, lest we become ingredients in redneck chili. There’s something inherently chilling about a “dusty town”. No one to go to for help because the only people in the town are trying to eat you, that sort of thing. Burg asks how he can make the setting more urban while still retaining the “feel” of the “dusty town”. Well, Burg, I have no idea what you’re trying to do here, but there’s no way to make the setting of TCM more urban without adding more people. Are you trying to infer that the Chainsaw clan has grown and become more industrialized? Do they have the interwebs? I’d hate to think about Leatherface’s reaction to 2 Girls, 1 Cup, although I imagine the soundtrack to that video strikes him as mighty fine dancing-with-your-chainsaw music.
And the last thing that bothers me in Burg’s quote is: “There’s still the subtext of ‘are they eating these people?’ The whole idea of cannibalism, we’re bring it back.” What subtext, Mr. Burg? There was no subtext. They were clearly devouring humans. It wasn’t some vague and obscure reference that you had to be extra smart to “get”. I don’t know about Burg here, but I don’t need Charlton Heston screaming at me, “Jim Siedow’s Chili is PEOPLE!” And how are you bringing cannibalism back, sir? I wasn’t aware that it was gone. Eli Roth really tipped a hat to Deodato’s Cannibal Holocaust in Hostel: Part II. Not only did he have Deodato featured as the cannibalistic member of the hunting club, but he had Lauren German cut off Richard Burgi’s junk in the best homage to the 70′s (especially the cannibal flicks) ever. And then there’s nearly every zombie or infected society flick. There is always human consumption. Maybe not human on human, but audiences are pretty accustomed to the sight by now.
Aside from my complaints, which appear to be many, I do have some hope – or about as much hope as one can have for yet another remake of a beloved franchise. While there’s plenty to be apprehensive about, I do have hope in Burg’s silly cannibalism remarks. Cannibal films (and well, most of the Italian films) of the 70′s were some of the best, most vicious films to exist. The make-up effects were astoundingly realistic, and even though the actors were terrible and some of the scenes a bit too lengthy (even by Haneke standards), these films were so visceral and captivating. If Burg really wants to do something worthwhile with this series, he’d find a great director and DP and bring in some of that 70′s cannibal feel.
As for a relative returning to the “dusty urban town” or whatever, the obvious route is having some pretty young adult girl learn what happened to her family member, and go investigating in the local library (which, of course, has all this concealed information ready for perusal!), which leads her to the town and the family of cannibalistic hicks. Here’s an idea that I’m not sure I’m even on board with, but it comes to mind all the same: the daughter of Sally from the original film goes to the town to seek revenge on the people that traumatized her mother, after her mother has been institutionalized for years, is released, fornicates with normal man and produces daughter, then one day loses her shit and kills her husband, getting institutionalized again. Something to that effect. If we’re going to play ball with the franchise, let’s go all out, guys. Go bat shit crazy, in a good way, of course. Bring exploitation and feminine revenge back. Sit down with some old movies – I Spit on Your Grave, Last House on the Left, Cannibal Holocaust/Ferox (whichever you like), Zombie (sharks are good).
Whatever you do, don’t use the term “modernize” to bastardize the franchise. Don’t use quick, choppy editing during a brutal scene a la Saw, and please don’t make this into a tame, PG13 slasher. Sure, the original had very little blood, and I’m not exactly asking for a gore fest here. You can still be brutal without being Dead Alive, and you can still be violent without an exposed intestinal tract. And keep in mind that this is 2009, and the MPAA is more lax with their gore policies anyhow because their main concern is gay butt sex and penis. All I ask is intelligence and a little bit of responsibility. I know it’s a lot to ask from the Hollywood recycling factory, but if you want to make that Trump money, I suggest you respect the audience putting those dollars in your wallet.
