Slaughter Hotel (1973)
Studio: Media Blasters
DVD Release Date: May 25, 2004
Directed By: Fernando Di Leo
Cast: Klaus Kinski, Margaret Lee, Rosalba Neri, Jane Garret, John Karlsen
Review By: Marc Patterson

ROOMS AVAILABLE: Husbands, have a wife who is suffering from nymphomania, or who is perhaps suicidal, or wrought with any of a variety of personality phobias or disorders? Our highly specialized clinic is waiting for you with open arms. Our resident staff is here to help nurture your spouse back to health. Our clinic is situated inside a beautifully restored castle and is surrounded by a breathtaking countryside setting. With round the clock doctors and nurses, and luxurious private suites, our clinic is just the place for your loved one!

Too bad they didn’t tell you the clinic is a.k.a. Slaughter Hotel and that your loved one is going to DIE!

As you may have surmised, this little wing-ding of a film focuses on a medieval like castle where rich husbands place their wives to cure what ails them. However, we get the real insiders look at what’s going on, and I’m not so sure it’s anything the AMA board would approve of. Good for them this clinic isn’t in the US! Good for us Klaus Kinsky (a regular Jess Franco actor) is the good doctor!

The film opens in the dead of night outside said foreboding castle. A dark caped figure is tracing the walls seeking a safe and stealthy entrance. The intruder finds an entrance through the basement and manages to find the main hall, which is decked out in a variety of medieval armament. I’m wondering what kind of clinic this is. With nothing less than ill-intent our caped villain slowly stalks to the private quarters of the patients.

Since it’s all but silent on screen, here is the dialogue going through my head:
“Ah, just as I suspected, a voluptuous young vixen writhing in her sleep. Oh yes, she will do! Now, to get a good look at her bosom. Mmmm, bountiful. And what is this? More tossing and turning, slowly revealing her womanhood? Muy sexy. Now I must kill her with my prodigious battle-axe. But alas, she has buzzed for the nurses! For vain! I disappear into the night.”

And with that our soon to be killer has been thwarted, but only temporarily. After all, the patient cat catches the early worm. Or something to that effect. Never fear, he will return, and the next time it will be for blood!

Listen, I’m not going to walk you through this film. After all, there wasn’t a whole lot to it, and I hate to ruin any surprises. However, I can tell you that this film is more Euro trash cinema and less a giallo.

Now if you’re a little slow on the take, allow me to lay it out for you. This is a film of excesses. Let me put it this way. There’s more bush to be found here than you’ll find at the RNC. Heard that one before? Try this. There’s more bush here than you’ll find in the Australian outback. No? Crickets? Really? Well, enough of the puns then. You certainly get the point. All I have to say is god bless the seventies. There’s nothing like getting an eyeful of good old fashion au naturale before some caped killer decimates the same beautiful flesh with a medieval battle device.

Story wise, the dialogue was sparse and minimal. As a matter of fact, the film really didn’t need any dialogue at all, and what was there was simply filler. Maybe that’s underplaying it, but there’s no doubt that dialogue and character development were simply afterthoughts, if it they were thoughts at all.

The killing scenes were also a far cry from graphic. The only thing that was graphic was the sleaze. That action goes so far as to approach what one might define as hardcore during two overly voyeuristic and gratuitous masturbation scenes. Yes! And with the slamming bible upon the pulpit of the unholy the preacher awakes all you sex hungry sleaze hounds! With Slaughter Hotel you have no time to think, “Gee, I wish she would take that off”, or “Huh, I wonder if she’ll get nekkid?” By the time your thoughts have escaped your one-track mind, the clothes are on the floor!

The film is presented in anamorphic widescreen 2.35:1 Techniscope aspect ratio. It’s great looking transfer. Not too grainy, nice and bright, and good-looking, just like the ladies. On the other hand the sound was a huge bother. There were more snaps, crackles, and pops than a bowl of Rice Krispies on crack cocaine. Atrocious is the actually the word that comes to mind. One scene, a murder scene nonetheless, wasn’t even synced properly. And the English dubbing sounded muddled. But, as previously mentioned you didn’t really need any of the dialogue to understand what was going on anyway.

As far as the extras are concerned we did get some that would be of value to fans of the film. I haven’t yet decided whether or not to include myself in that category. There’s a still gallery and some trailers. Also included, and most mentionable, is an interview with director Fernando Di Leo.

Here’s the bottom line. This was a fun, if not stupid giallo. There isn’t any real plot building, nor real motive for the murders, but there are murders, and there is sex. Actually, there’s a lot of sex. Basically, this film would have been a lot better if I smoked a big bowl of the sticky purple delight, and jacked off during the semi-psychedelic lesbian sex scene. But I didn’t. And for that it shall be judged accordingly, on the merits of what it was, and is.

Brutal As Hell Rating: 2 out of 5