Theatrical Review: Watchmen
Watchmen (2009)
Studio: Warner Bros.
Theatrical Release Date: March 6, 2009
Directed By: Zack Snyder
Cast: Jackie Earle Haley, Billy Crudup, Patrick Wilson, Malin Akerman & Matthew Goode
Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 ½ out of 5 stars
Review By: Annie Riordan
The year is 1985, and the days of avenging superheroes are long over. Forced into retirement by public outcry and governmental crackdowns, the formerly masked and caped ones are now living dull and dingy day-to-day existences, their very human flaws rising up and consuming them as their heroic days fade behind them, forgotten and shunned. But when one of them – a brutish and perverted ex-hero known as The Comedian – is found beaten and murdered, tossed from the window of his high rise apartment, a paranoid, sociopathic vigilante called Rorschach becomes convinced that someone is hunting them down one by one.
As Rorschach seeks out his former partners – the dweeby Dan/Nite Owl, the sexy Laurie/Silk Spectre II, the suave millionaire Adrian/Ozymandias and the nuclear superman Dr. Manhattan – to warn them that their lives are in danger, a far more sinister plot is slowly uncovered. With the world on the brink of a nuclear holocaust, and with a stressed out Dr. Manhattan gone AWOL and considered Public Enemy #1 by the government and public at large, the ragtag remnants of the Watchmen finally accept the fact that their masks and capes must be donned once more if the world is to be saved.
But is the world really worth saving? And will anyone even thank them for their efforts?
This is the bleak and hopeless question that acts as a supporting beam for Watchmen, widely considered to be the most anticipated cinematic adaptation of a graphic novel in the history of comic books come to three dimensional life. I have not read the original story by Comic God Alan Moore – I made a serious attempt, but my ADD afflicted brain has a serious problem with the formatting of graphic novels: I just cannot wrap my mind around them. Therefore, I went into this two and a half hour light and sound show not knowing what to expect and, honestly, not really expecting a goddamned thing. I came away pleased, if not wholly infatuated.
Remember when The Dark Knight came out, and critics were condemning its nihilistic plunge into utter darkness and despair? Well, Watchmen makes The Dark Knight look like a gay 40s musical. It’s unrelenting in its sadism and hopelessness and unashamedly offers no happy endings. For a novel penned several decades earlier, it’s still incredibly timely, a poignant reflection of our current society and the pessimistic outlook that reigns supreme. Watchmen is perfectly timed, if not perfectly filmed.
The pros far outweigh the cons, however. The films real strength is in its characters, both main and supporting, all of whom are perfectly cast and given solid, three dimensional background stories. No one fares better here than Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, a character every bit as dark and twisted as Heath Ledger’s Joker, but with a backstory that justifies his bitterness. Haley totally inhabits this role, and one has to wonder who the HELL allowed this man to rot in obscurity for so long, delivering pizzas to support himself. If Haley doesn’t score another Oscar nod for his crazed, intense and ultimately pitiable descent into Rorschach’s scarred skin, I’ll be shocked.
The cons here are petty and easily overlooked: too much sex (seriously, was it really necessary to the plot to show Silk Spectre and Nite Owl banging each other silly for so long?), shoddy CGI in a few places and a cavalcade of sound and light that gave me a mutherfucker of a migraine. If you’re prone to such illnesses, take some heavy duty painkillers to the theater with you.
Ultimately, Watchmen is worth its full ticket price. Darker than the Dark Knight, seedier than Sin City and flashier than V For Vendetta, fans of all of the aforementioned will find Watchmen thoroughly entertaining, grittily thought-provoking and downright dazzling to behold.
