Snuffin’ Zombies (2009)

Directed By: Karl Benacci

Cast: Karl Benacci, Joseph Byrd, Don Wilson, Robert Muye

Brutal As Hell Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Review By: Marc Patterson

Snuff films?  Zombies?  Low budget?  These three things were what comprised my knowledge of Snuffin’ Zombies prior to telling director Karl Benacci (who also stars in the lead role of Frank) that yes, I would review his film.  You see, roughly twice a year I give in to a request to review a no budget zombie film.  Snuffin’ Zombies might have satisfied my annual quota. 

Frank is a loser in a way that makes losers say “damn, that guy is a loser”.  He can’t hold down a job.  Cash?  Forget it.  And don’t even talk about poon tang.  Even the lowest common bar hag (not directed to the fine and classy girls in this picture mind you) wouldn’t take to one of his pick up lines.  When one of Frank’s shady associates offers him a chance to make some serious cash by shooting snuff films it takes Frank all but five seconds to justify murder.  And with his mongoloid friend, and a handheld camera, Frank starts taking out everyone who’s ever given him shit in his lifetime.  Things are looking up for Frank until his victims start coming back from the dead to seek some revenge of their own. 

Technically there’s no snuffin’ of zombies going on.  It would have been a lot cooler if there were.  I secretly was kind of hoping for a “zombies in the hood” type flick.  I mean, don’t you think the title just has that ring to it?  Snuffin’ Zombies sounds like the kind of film that should have ghetto box old school raps featuring Ice T, some booty shaking bitches and circa 1990’s drive-by’s where fields of zombies are plowed down with Uzi’s.  C’mon, spread the love.  While I was surely let down by lack of any gang related zombie killing sprees I was also a bit surprised when the opening credits did start to roll. 

The intro scene features some halfway interesting bluesy tunes being plucked out while showcasing a hobo stumbling over railroad tracks, falling down a hill, and finally entering an abandoned warehouse, looking for a place to crash.  He definitely finds a place to crash in the warehouse. (Just a little homage to the Return of the Living Dead going on.)  Immediately it becomes apparent how well a no budget film can be dressed up and come off with a lot more class by incorporating a decent soundtrack.

With any no budget film you know the acting is going to be bad.  There’s no need directing any criticism (positive or negative) here.  Some things are just a given and you have to embrace the reality of it prior to popping the DVD in.  My problem wasn’t so much with the acting as it was lack of elements that could have been present, even with no cash.  First, there were no boobs, very little blood (kero syurp is cheap guys), and the zombies were not much better looking than what the average kid constructs for a trick and treating night out from a dollar makeup kit.  These three things are the base for which ANY low to no budget film needs to build.  Don’t have em?  Don’t bother. 

The plot was also fairly tedious.  The film clocks in at just over an hour, and a good portion of that is spent sitting through the most pointless scene at a bar that does nothing to fill in the story, flesh out characters, or advance the plot.  Again, elements that could have been constructed more skillfully despite lack of budget.  The real climax comes when the credits roll and you get to turn the damn thing off.  

Snuffin’ Zombies plays out like so many no budget films do, as a bit of an inside joke that only a select few know the punch line to, and very likely is best left with that group of folks.  We’re giving this a one out of five stars.  C’mon, no Ice T?  What did you expect? 

If you have any interest you can check these folks out at Myspace Film: http://www.myspace.com/snuffinzombies