DVD Review: Feast III – The Happy Finish
Feast III (2009)
Studio: Dimension Extreme
DVD Release Date: February 17, 2009
Directed By: John Gulager
Cast: Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, Diane Ayala Goldner, Martin Kebba, Carl Anthony Payne, Tom Gulager, Hanna Putnam
Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Review By: Marc Patterson
Feast III: Sloppy Seconds continues the saga that originated with the Project Greenlight season 3 winner John Gulager. Once again, we’re up to our eyeballs in alien grotesqueries, minus the cat fucking this time around. Honey Pie makes her return to the forefront of the action, having survived the second installment only by a thin string of bloody sinew. All the Gulager’s are present and accounted for, as is Biker Queen and her entourage of topless tattooed betties. As a sidebar note I have to admit, I totally was diggin’ watching Chelsea Richards (GodsGirls.com) prance around for ninety percent of her on screen time topless as she did battle with the slimy perverted aliens. Aliens who wanted nothing more than to mate in the most disgusting manner thinkable. It epitomizes the luridly ridiculous nature of these films that a topless biker babe with a shotgun can run around dodging alien dick and somehow in this summize the pointlessness of the entire series. Which, in case you’re still wondering, same as part two there is no real story or plot. Any of that dissipated in part one.
More outlandish characters are added to the mix just to keep interest. Josh Blue (Last Comic Standing) provides some needed comic relief as “The Prophet”, a man who has the apparent supernatural ability to ward off the aliens, allowing our ensemble of desert dwelling misfits to thwart the enemy, if only for a moment. And then there’s the arrival of an ass kicking martial artist, Jean Claude Seagal (Craig Henningsen), who aims to save the day for our troupe. True to fashion Gulager doesn’t allow you to sit comfortably with any character in the film. Not that you would anyway. Anyone and everyone is absolutely dispensable at any moment and will, at any moment, find themselves on the creative end of the Gulager’s merciless chopping block. If nothing else it makes for a wonderful drinking game of who gets it next and when.
There aren’t any decent extras on the disc that are worth your while. If you’re into it you can spend some time in the life of John Gulager, who apparently was still struggling to pay his bills following his win on Project Greenlight. Oh the illustrious life of a low budget filmmaker. (What just because the Weinstein’s release your film you think you’ve “made it”?) Other than this the disc packs in a few trailers for films you’ve likely already seen.
The Feast films are truly only for a select few. You’re either going to love them or despise them as the pulp trash they are. If you didn’t like the first two then don’t bother with the third. It’s the weakest of the series, though not completely unwatchable. I had a fun time with it, but that’s about all you get. A fun filled bloody, crass, and totally vulgar eighty minutes. It wraps up the trilogy nicely, leaves some room for a possible fourth (let’s hope not), and delivers a truly happy ended that no one could possibly see coming.
