DVD Review: Die You Zombie Bastards
Die You Zombie Bastards! (2005)
Studio: Image Entertainment
DVD Release Date: January 16, 2007
Directed By: Caleb Emerson
Cast: Tim Gerstmar, Geoff Mosher, Pippi Zornoza, Jamie Gillis, Hasil Adkins
Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars
Review By: Marc Patterson
Die You Zombie Bastards was an incredibly loopy story that is all over the place (but in a good way). Let’s see if we can get it straight for you: Baron Nefarious kidnaps three hot scientist sisters, who are doing research on Hell’s Island for a long rumored amphibious man/fish creature, which by the way sports a massive prehistoric cock. Nefarious turns the three girls into the most incredibly sexy zombies using a zombification machine he’s built. Now with a fledgling army of undead he seeks out a bride, and a nemesis worthy of his intellect. He finds these in two crazy serial killing cannibals from suburbia – Red Toole, and his busty babe Violet. While the two picnic in the park on human flesh Nefarious sweeps in and kidnaps Violet. Now it’s up to Red don his superhero costume (complete with a cape made from human skin) to battle zombies, ninjas, robots, more zombies, and disobedient man/dogs in order to defeat Nefarious and get his precious Violet back!
Wowza! What a ridiculous film this was. And I mean that in the best, and most complementary, way possible. Die You Zombie Bastards is the kind of low budget film that deserves to be made over and again. It’s the kind of filmmaking that Troma USED to do well. To call this film campy might be a gross understatement. Zany creatures, full frontal nudity, copious amounts of blood and guts, hot zombies, fuckin’ robots, rockabilly rednecks, a hero that wears a penis on the outside of his costume! The list goes on and on. People, how can I even sit here and critique a film like this? It’s sheer screwball ingeniousness that nearly defies criticism of any sort. It’s the kind of film you wish had a bigger budget to work with, just to see what else they would do, but deep down inside you know that if the filmmakers had more money the inventive creativeness that low budget cinema demands would have dissolved.
If you’re into zombies, low budget schlockery, you should seriously entertain the notion of buying this DVD. It’s easily something you’ll be able to watch over and over again, with an equal amount of amusement with each sitting.