The Cottage (2007)

Studio: Sony Pictures

DVD Release Date: May 13, 2008

Directed By: Paul Andrews Williams

Cast: Andy Serkis, Reese Shearsmith, Jennifer Ellison

Brutal As Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Review By: Marc Patterson

Two buffoonish brothers (Andy Serkis and Reese Shearsmith) amazingly manage to pull off a kidnapping and take to a remote cottage in the English countryside where they plan to lay low with their busty, blond, and highly feisty victim (British soap opera bad girl Jennifer Ellison), while they wait for their ransom money to be delivered.  This dark and hilarious crime caper turns into a full on slasher fest when the psychotic and horribly disfigured farmer from the next lot over starts dispatching everyone like it’s harvest season and our criminals are the crop. 

There’s no doubt in my mind that The Cottage will likely be clumped by many other critics into the general pile of British comedy horror and be compared as a sub-standard entry to its older cinematic brother Shaun of the Dead.  But, this is underscoring to what the film presents.  The Cottage clearly borrows from the age old textbook formula laid out by Hitchcock’s Psycho, yet without bothering to smother itself with too much intelligence.  Instead it manages to serve up the goods while keeping things light and making for a fun brainless comedic romp through slasher land. 

The filmmaking remains smart, without being overly stylistic.  The shots are set up wonderfully which allow for a great story to be told without relying on fancy tricks of the camera.  Combined with a haunting soundtrack the overall effect the film makes is quite unsuspecting and came as a wonderful surprise to what I otherwise felt would be 90 minutes of B horror drivel.  A perfect example of the smart style of filmmaking is when Peter, who is deathly afraid of moths, gets trapped in a room full of moths.  The surrealistic psychological horror becomes so visually intense you will swear that this will be his end.  Death by moths.  How horridly ridiculous, and yet appropriate.  Which brings me around to what really got it done…

The real driving factor of the film was the cast.  They remained equally impressive as the filmmaking.  Our three leads (Serkis, Shearsmith, Ellison) hold down the film with some spot on performances that keep you entertained and glued to the screen in suspenseful glee.  Ellison, (who unfortunately bears nothing but a glimpse of her luscious cleavage), makes one hell of a bad ass babe.  Throw her against our crazed farmer/monster next door and you’ll easily be cheering for her to win all the way.  Reese Shearsmith plays Peter the annoying younger brother who even as a result is clearly still attached to his dead mothers’ tit.  His personality is endearing while at the same time grates on your nerves like fingernails on a blackboard.   And you have to give it up for Andy Serkis who plays the brains behind the whole damn operation.  There’s nothing quite as funny as a tough guy buffoon who’s coaching his equally inept brother through a “how to talk tough to your hostage for dummies” course.

Nothing else said I have to give two big thumbs up for The Cottage.  I tossed this into the DVD player knowing little to nothing about the film and it by far surpassed my expectations, and not only this, but showed itself as a great way to spend the evening.  It’s a rollicking action packed good time and comes recommended.