DVD Review: The Butcher

Posted on January 23, 2009 by Deaditor No Comments

The Butcher (2006)

Studio: Lionsgate

DVD Release Date: July 11, 2006

Directed By: Edward Gorsuch

Cast: Hazel Dean, Alan Ritchson, Myiea Coy, Tom Nagel, Annie Mackay

Brutal As Hell Rating: 1 ½ out of 5 stars

Review By: Annie Riordan

 

An SUV full of vacuous college students take a wrong turn on a back country road and run afoul of a demented killer, blah blah blah, Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip off, yeah yeah yeah. Car breaks down, stupid kids decide to go poking around in That Old Spooky Farmhouse they spotted and, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

Honestly, if you’re going to be dumb enough to sloooooowly wander around a creepy house, looking at stuff and farting around while a big hulking guy with a chainsaw lurks around outside, you just plain deserve to die. The Butcher is so boring, so predictable and so derivative of the kajillion or so backwoods slasher films that came before it that I found it difficult to stay awake for the duration. I’m really not sure how it’s possible to make a chainsaw evisceration scene dull, but The Butcher manages to do it.

 

Bad acting, bad script, ho-hum gore and one tit shot provided by an A-cup lesbian (with the unimaginative name of Liz) makes for a very tedious movie watching experience. You’ve seen this shit before, and you’ve seen it done better. There’s nothing new to see here, move along.

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