DVD Review: One Dark Night
One Dark Night (1983)
Studio: Shriek Show
DVD Release Date: January 31, 2006
Directed By: Tom McLoughlin
Cast: Meg Tilly, David Mason Daniels, Melissa Newman, Robin Evans & Adam West
Brutal As Hell Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Review By: Annie Riordan
Sorry but, despite a similarity in titles, this is NOT an early Batman flick, despite the presence of Adam West. Shame, really. This shitty little formulaic 80s shocker might have benefited from some BAM! and POW! action. As it is, it’s pretty damn dull.
Mousy little Julie Wells desperately wants to get into the posh clique at her high school, but snooty blond bitch queen Carol isn’t making it easy for her. Carol is the leader of the pack, and her ex-boyfriend Steve has fallen madly in love with Julie. Aaand, cue the catty green eyed monster: Mee-OW! Ignoring Steve’s warnings, Julie agrees to a final initiation test: to spend one (dark) night inside of a spooky masoleum.
Too bad Julie and the girls aren’t aware of the fact that, earlier that day, an evil magician named Raymar was buried within the mausoleum walls. While alive, Raymar could manipulate the dead and apparently liked to kill young girls. Now, Raymar’s grown daughter Olivia suspects that her father might be attempting to reanimate himself, and Julie is just the jump-start he needs to get his evil battery goin’ again!
Wow. This is really bad. Really, REALLY bad. But there are actually a few good reasons to watch this. #1 – Meg Tilly. Okay, she’s not as bodaciously buxom as her sister Jen, but she’s still pretty cool. #2 – Elizabeth Fucking Teenage Daily, sporting brown hair, a satin jacket and her trademark smartass personality. #3 – The only black guy in the movie is played by the late Kevin Peter Hall, the seven foot plus dude who would go on to sport mandibles and kick Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ass in the 1987 classic Predator. And amazingly, though he is the sole black guy in the movie, he actually doesn’t die! Gosh, this movie was sorta ahead of it’s time, who woulda thunk it?
The head-crushingly terrible script includes such classic insults as “nerdle brain” and the incredibly silly climax involves watching two vacuous girls get smothered to death by life sized rubber corpse puppets. The girls are even helpful enough to stand still and wait for said puppets to slowly approach and fall on them – very cooperative and sporting, don’t you think? But…uh…nah, I got nuthin’. This movie sucks. Recommended only to hardcore fans of the aforementioned cast members, or to the severely brain damaged.
