Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

Studio: Warner Home Video

DVD Release Date: July 29, 2008

Directed By: P.J. Pesce

Cast: Corey Feldman, Tad Hilgenbrink, Angus Sutherland, Autumn Reeser, Gabrielle Rose

Deadly DVD Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Review By: Marc Patterson

After their parents pass away from unexplained causes ex-pro surfer Chris Emerson (Hilgenbrink) and his sister Nicole (Reeser) move into a dilapidated beachside rental, which they procure from an Aunt (Gabrielle Rose) who is an uptight and eccentric real estate agent.  Like any good family member she isn’t prone to generosity, allowing the rental to go for a whopping $150 below market value.  Gee thanks Aunty.

When it comes down to a night in with their aunt, Goonies, and a bag of stale popcorn they opt for a party with some newfound surfer friends.  Turns out these surfers (who they formally knew from the pro circuit in a more human capacity) are now vampires who wish to turn them into the newest members of their clan.  While Chris seems oblivious to this fact, his sister Nicole is immediately under the sensuous spell of the sexy leader, Shane Powers (Sutherland) and before you can say “I knew it!” she’s drinking his blood (of course she thinks she’s just drinking alcohol). 

With only one shot to save his sister from turning into a full blown vampire Chris must enlist the help of surfboard shaper and vampire hunter Edgar Frog (Feldman) to track down the clan at their real hideout, and then kill off Shane.  This, of course will break the curse and save Nicole from an otherwise bleak existence with a group of vampires so meat headed they make jocks look good.  Snore.  

Let’s get straight down to it.  Now, I certainly wasn’t stupid enough to think this was going to be anything spectacular but hell, this actually managed to be much worse than I even imagined it would be.  I mean, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, back on set together again, kicking off a film that was loads of fun back in the 80’s, and has retained its replay value over the years.  Without too much work this new entry seemed destined to at least be quality brain dead horror.  But it ended up being just brain dead.  I’m not even certain this flick has the potential to turn into a “guilty pleasure” that each of us horror buffs has sitting in our collection. 

To start with, the acting was just terrible.  The vampire characters had nothing magnetic about their personalities that would appeal to anyone with any sense.  And I couldn’t get over the lead vampires ridiculous accent.  Not even five minutes of his blather and I wanted to give Sutherland a five finger bitch slap he wouldn’t forget for a long time.  The rest of his clan was equally stupid, running around stabbing each other in the stomach for fun.  Seriously?  This is what we get after waiting all this time?

And then there was Tom Savini.  What the fuck dude?  Savini’s cameo in the opening sequence didn’t do anything to help him out, or advance the story.  No offense to him, but did this project really appeal to him that much that he needed to take a day off to get humiliated like this, or is he that much of a star that he can take a shit role and still walk away completely unscathed?  I would opt towards the latter, but it’s still not a proper excuse. 

If you haven’t been able to tell yet, the story has none of the style, flair, or coolness that the original had.  Sure they brought that wailing theme song back in to get your nostalgia lit up, but that was about it.  And I really mean that was it.  There’s nothing here even the most remote vampire genre fan is going to want to see.  It’s just pure waste all around.  Lost Boys: The Tribe is a sad and miserable excuse for a film and an abhorrent waste of time.  We give this a generous one star and our recommendation to avoid at all costs.