Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)

Studio: Dimension Extreme

DVD Release Date: October 7, 2008

Directed By: John Gulager

Cast: Clu Gulager, Jenny Wade, Diane Ayala Goldner, Tom Gulager, Chealsea Richards, Carl Anthony Payne

Brutal As Hell Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Review By: Marc Patterson

Sometimes when you sit down to a film you don’t really know what to expect.  In all circumstances I try to leave expectations at the table and just take what comes at face value.  This can be hard with a film that endured a decent first installment and has been receiving some rave reviews thus far.  When I popped this bad boy into the DVD player I did my best to just sit back and forget everything I knew, or thought I knew, about this film.  Immediately I was assaulted with over the top carnage and I couldn’t help but grin and get a little excited for what I was about to see. 

Feast Two picks up directly where it’s shocking debut ended.  Feast, originally a full feature film resulting from Project Greenlight, follows a group of rag tag outcasts as they hole up in a bar and team together to defend themselves against flesh eating creatures.  In Part 2 Director John Gulager ups the ante by throwing in more blood, more gore, more putrid humor, and a lot more alien genitalia.  Not too much differs from the original in terms of story.  It’s the classic “day after” and the creatures have moved on to a nearby town where once again a motley band of survivors face off against these monsters in a futile attempt at making it through the day alive.  Despite the fact that we are led to believe everyone pretty much died in part one we find out it ain’t so.  Honey Pie returns to the screen in this second installment along with Clu Gulager.   Diane Goldner also returns, but in the role of Biker Queen, sister to the now dead “Biker Mom” or the “Harley Mom” character she played in Part One. 

Before I get too carried away with my review I need to say this:  Feast 2 is, bar none, the definition of what an “Unrated” release is all about.  This film is fuckin’ vile to its unholy core, and I loved every last blood drenched second of it.  For what might be the first time in my horror watching life I think I can say that this is one film that didn’t need any more blood, guts, vomit, shit, rotten flesh, exploding intestines, Mexican midget wrestlers (errr… little people wrestlers), topless biker bitches, used car salesmen motherfuckers, cat fucking, or cum spewing alien dicks.  It could have used some more bouncing titties though.  Never can have enough of those. 

John Gulager is my fucking hero.

Technically speaking, the pacing of the film is dead on.  The horrifically nasty affair starts with a bang, quite literally as our hardened Biker Queen takes her shotgun and blows away a German Sheppard dog that happened to be carrying the blown off hand of one of her “sisters”.  She walks over to the bloody cadavers that remain, puts her boot down on the dogs jaw, (with a crunch of bone audible), and rips the forearm from the dogs dead jaws.  Damn.  Sixty seconds rolling and you know that’s the kind of film this is going to be.  At any given point in this film, whenever you think things can’t get worse or much uglier that’s exactly what they happens.  Every godforsaken time.  I can’t count the number of times I out loud said “Oh my god.  They aren’t going to that… they aren’t going to go there.”  And then, like kids who don’t know better, they go there.  And beyond.  My advice?  Don’t hold out hope for much of anything besides pure carnage and total mayhem. 

Shot on a smaller budget than their original film with only roughly two million, this one manage to top the first in terms of spreading the red.  The stunts are well set up and played out.  The CGI work in some of the final scenes was lacking a bit of oomph, but didn’t detract from the film much.  The characters are equally likeable as they are despicable, and portrayed by a competent cast that delivers the goods with totally believable performances.  It’s an ironic film in that while it outwardly mocks the horror genre it exceptionally exemplifies everything it should be.  Parts take me back to 1985 when Clu Gulager reigned supreme in Return of the Living Dead.  Very rarely do we get a glimpse of cinema that can be violently vicious and horrifying, but yet at the same time humorous to the point of laugh out loud. 

Bottom line?  If this was Sloppy Seconds, then slap me a hearty third helping.  Oh wait a second.  That’s right.  Part 3 “The Happy Ending” is currently in post-production.  I’m giving this film a standing ovation and 4 ½ stars.  It’s as close to perfection in horror than we’ve seen in a long time from any American filmmaker.  If you have a queasy stomach you’ll still want to watch this film.  Just bring a barf bag.   Better to watch this one and puke than to not see it and miss one of the best horror films of the year.